the day has to be won...

Relatively speaking, one's winning the day is different from what I see as a day to be won. Obsession in a thought and reflected in action is good enough to explain one's level of concern. Even babies are concern with their next step in their discovery of walking. And I am not going to fall for it. No more a physical step. I have mine. Could be something that concerns my next heart and my next soul. My next transit. As for Najib, our Prime Minister, his next soul is winning the Sibu's by election. It is his top agenda and his top concern. And to my students, today is filled in with thought of examination that concern a very broad personal spectrum of success and failure. It spells the kind of concern they are going through as a young teenager fighting a personal battle in order to win a personal war. Personally, I am not part of their concern. But to them I am just a step away as to what they have been defining their life today. Am I? I am not. But I am very much part of their nightmare. At least for a while. Personally, I have my own concern of what is next. Much higher up than the eye can see see and the heart can feel. Strictly personal. And that is what winning the day is all about...

The voices...

Writing is not a voice at all. It is supposed to be an expression from somewhere deep down. Much softer than the wind blows. Is it a voice from heaven? Makes no mistake with feeling, but the expression is not a feel at all. It goes beyond one's eye, mind and heart. It comes from several voices. But what was being written? Can be from a person with only one voice and one sound and one track expression of no thought. A suppression and not an expression. It might come from the cruel one or the most timid. What about my thought expression? Considering I can easily be cheated I hear no one voice but several. Thus I hold no grudge against others. Thus I am a man with less stress. If it is an ordinary man with one sound and voice, again giving my voices circumstances, he is already a dead man. He lives with one voice. But as for me it is the third voice that comes to my rescue. Stressful in reading what I write? Then try to listen to your another voice. It might be more perfecting and comforting. It might hold answers to your sadness, sickness, and your long lasting happiness. Haha.

perfection...

Don't be fooled by the word `perfection.' Perfection can have a negative or positive influence. Perfecting can be conscious act or unconscious act. A perfect film story for example can be a bad influence to the society. A parent can unconsciously being an imperfect father and mother to their perfect children. I want to be a perfect writer but in the process my masterpiece is not a perfect influence to the reader. Much of Internet websites are perfectly produced but not perfectly marketed. Everybody wants to be perfect. Can they? Yes they can only in their own personal sense of perfection. But the true judge of success and perfection is in the years to come. Not now. Now is and has always never been perfect...

close to disaster...

Disaster has to be managed. It takes a higher knowledge to understand what is a disaster. A disaster can be of many forms. I am not talking about the physical disaster but the hidden behaviour of mankind that can be categorised as deadly and disastrous. Some has already become a disaster what more in causing a chain of events that can lead to greater crisis of disasters. A natural death of a tree is not a disaster. But an untimely fallen of trees is considered a disaster that can led to bigger disasters. Think of the decisions we have been making everyday. Implicit in the decisions are disasters that are going to surface any time in the future. Are we aware of the sorrow mankind would face just because of the `wise decisions' we have been making today? Hanya Allah Sahaja Yang Mengetahui Akan Segala Rahsia Kejadian.

Beyond...

No sign of abatement. Occurrences of disasters one after the other, causes hunger and sufferings and it still show no sign of abatement. It knows not day and night, it knows not years and months, it keeps on happening making a territory by itself and it grows bigger by the day.

not all the days..

We have to be strategic in life. ALLAH menjadikan segala-galanya. But as a created human being the accessibility to everything is limited. The term `strategic' refers to the `all but not all.' We must be selective in the `days and hours' we want to live. And so are in the individuals and people we want to have a `teh tarik' with. Sound selfish and ego? Not at all. The constraints are genuine and real. We do what we can. At best it is our self we have to accommodate. And if it is time to go we just pack our bags and leave. Don't have to say go bye to everybody, right? Well, that reminds me of what happen yesterday. They too don't have time for me. As for me, it is a misplaced strategy. Is it? But sometimes let instincts decides on the actions. After all life is life. Allah telah memberi kamu kesihatan. There are days that tend to be so loose. But not all the days...

instant intelligence...

Why not give a try? We all have our own landscape of familiarities. Use it. We fear things in large numbers. For a change why not substitute the word large to small numbers. Or love the old instead of the young. Or eliminate the word fear in its entirety and that includes going to war. But with instant intelligence you can win any battle cry..

You have been with it for a long time. Everybody has a one track mind of something. If they love numbers then they tend to think only in numbers. If they love words and concepts, then it is natural for them to choose a course full of words and concepts. And for a change why not I think in terms of `instant million in Euro currencies. Haha. So for a change try not to be of what you have been all the time. Can you?

Sometimes we tend to stick by the landscape created and left by others. As a result you can't remember a thing. Try to draw your own map with your own towns and cities and people that represent your own landscape. It is just like looking at your own face. How could you forget your own face? Try that with what you have been reading for the past three days and can't understand and remember a thing. The answer to your woes is to create your own landscape of understanding. Avoid using others.They have theirs. And that is what I called as an instant intelligence..no left and no right. No up and no down. So does everything matters? Only intelligence would put your house in order. Till then, I have to solve my own problem of intelligence. And I have to be quick, fast, and instant..

why not eye in the brain..?

If that is going to be, life can be upside down. You might love to have yourself washed in the rain or in the river instead of in the bathroom. A young lady would come to you and say words of this effect,`are you crazy' ? If not for the eye, it can be `mind in the brain.' Mind is the present thoughts and thinking. Cakap Melayu nya `mengikut adat.' Meaning we are a conformist to the present trend and thoughts. But mind can be in many numbers. It resides in the brain. But once brain takes control of the mind, you will see things in the `odds', double or triple. Or you can be with many sights at your command or you are in the category, what they called it as crazy or cakap Melayu nya `orang gila.' or `orang tak betul.' haha.Does that answer the question, `why not eye in the brain?.

Nota: Terima kasih kepada Laila (link) pelajar saya yang telah menghasilkan lukisan `gadis berambut panjang.'

The mind in the eye..

Whom I am going to follow the mind or the eye? I cannot play good all the time. Either the eye or the mind, I must be quick and fast and a decision has to be made. Well I must remember some answers are in the mind and not in the eye. But there are instances when both the eye and the mind runs parallel. As in the other day, I am glad I play to the tune of both. It is mind in the eye and it is also the eye in the mind...

an act of tomorrow?

Are you conscious of the fact what kind of man or woman you are? If you don't then continue reading this post. Am I a man of the moment? Yesterday, literally speaking, I am a confused person. While invigilating at the dewan, I act and think in a manner I myself don't know who I am. Is it an act of yesterday, that moment, or tomorrow? Sorry, the details of what my act and thought at that time shall remain my secret. But you can make a guess. Haha. Make it a guessing game. I guess you are not too old to play that game.

Literally speaking I am a man of today. Thus it makes me an everyday man. What about you? Everyday I write. And not necessarily in this blog. Everyday i am struck by a lightning of ideas on something, somebody, and almost on everything! Does that qualify me as an everyday man? Some just could not move beyond yesterday. And many many more can't move beyond last week, or last month, or last year, or cannot think beyond last decade.What a pity for those who have grudge against someone that happens ten years ago!

I think this story would give you an idea what i m talking about. Have you ever experience receiving an sms reply after `two weeks' of sending it? Or you are a person who just can't wait for the next minute? An instant reply? But again that explains who you are. Is it good or is it bad? If it is a behaviour then it is bad. An analogy of mee segera is good for this. You are always for the mee segera at the slightest feeling of hunger. Then an instant mee is bad. Think for a while. Be a disciplined person but never ever let yourself be hungry for long. Think again. Search for a more suitable food that serves as an healthy diet. If you follow that tip then I can qualify you as a person of tomorrow. Because it is an act that can serve you beyond today. And it is good.

Question then, am I writing all these as an act of today, yesterday, or it is an act for tomorrow?

entah apa hendak dirindukan...

Rasa biasa sahaja. Masa berlalu. Puas mencari apa yang sebenarnya yang hendak dicari. Hidup ini tak boleh tergopoh gapah. Lambat laun terjumpa juga apa yang hendak dicari. Mungkin itulah kehidupan yang sebenarnya. I would say to myself. Don't rush into things. It might turned out to be something that you don't want. Entahlah. Ada peristiwa yang berlaku seakan akan telah merampas kehidupan yang sebegitu. Manusia nampaknya suka bersenang lenang. Tapi dengan berlakunya tsunami pada tahun 2004 bukan sahaja telah meragut nyawa tetapi juga telah meragut ketenangan sebilangan besar manusia. Begitu juga letupan gunung berapi di Iceland baru baru ini telah meranap impian sesetengah orang untuk melancong. Entahlah. Kalau difikir fikirkan segalanya adalah diluar kekuasaan manusia walaupun dunia telah menikmati teknologi tercanggih. Adakah rindu yang sebenarnya hanya kepada Allah Yang Maha Besar?

Factoring the Challenge...

Hoping for someone to pop in and say something. That is an innate desire. And so are hoping to be a part of events like politics and social. It is a question of degree and consciousness. It can be a strong pull or a weak one. Can innate desire be control? The urge has many layers. But the pull from an individual can be disastrous if not being fulfilled. The pull and the push has very much part of the game play. But many tend to hide the truth of their inner desire. And to some it is an outside factors that must be overcome and thus can determine one's success. But to me it is world by itself. No inside or outside factors involved. Neither it is a challenge. It is just innate.

Miskin dan kaya...

Banyak diperkatakan pasal miskin dan kaya. Saya lebih selesa jika membandingkan `peniaga miskin dan peniaga kaya'. Peniaga miskin kais pagi makan pagi, peniaga besar kais hari ini dengan bertujuan supaya satu hari nanti seluruh ahli masyarakat dapat merasa bersama nikmat apa yang mereka buat sekarang. Peniaga miskin mebuat sesuatu dengan tidak ada visi dan misi. Buat je dengan apa yang ada da dan terdaya. Mereka menganggap kekekangan adalah sudah suratan takdir. Peniaga kaya sentiasa mendahulukan visi dan misi dalam apa jua keputusan yang hendak dibuat. Kekangan kekangan merupakan hanya cabaran dan hanya memerlukan pengetahuan dan masa untuk mengatasinya. Nampak bezanya? Kepada peniaga miskin penghujung perbuatan adalah hari itu juga. Bagi peniaga kaya pula, hari ini merupakan satu langkah ke langkah yang lebih besar dan lebih bermakna. Di peringkat diri pula , adakah anda melakukan sesuatu di atas dasar `miskin' atau `kaya' ?

unsur kekeluargaan...

Semalam saya berada entah di mana. Aneh. Seakan akan bermimpi. Saya tidak kekok. Tidak segan silu. Biasa sahaja. Malah dirasakan `I am truly a champion.' So to speak. Don't feel shy. Don't have that guilt feelings. Why? Kesemuanya di atas nama `kekeluargaan.' Apa yang haram boleh jadi halal atas alasan kekeluargaan? Saya tidak kata begitu. Apa yang saya katakan adalah atas dasar `unsur kekeluargaan' yang terdapat dan diserlahkan pula pada aktiviti tersebut; maka itulah paksi yang hendak dibicarakan.

Aneh. Beria-ia benar dia memohon pandangan dan nasihat dari saya. Juga aneh. Nasihat dan pandangan yang diberi `rupa merupa' nasihat kepada diri saya sendiri pulak. Apa yang di nasihatkan? Sekadar mengigatkan kepada seseorang apa dia yang jahat dan apa dia yang burok. Jika niat baik menjadi paksi segala perbuatan, walaupun masyarakat memandang serong, tetapi akhirnya kita selamat, maka kita hendak bersyukur kerana kita telah DiLindungiNya mengikut hasrat yang telah di pahat awal awal lagi. Walaupun pada zahirnya perkara tersebut dicemuh oleh masyarakat?

Terhenti saya buat seketika. Dia `ketawa serious' selepas saya memberi analogy majilis persandingan. Majlis boleh berlangsung dalam suasana yang sangat direstui oleh masyarakat. Tetapi dengan niat dan hasrat yang menyimpang dari paksi kekeluargaan yang sepatutnya terpahat, tidak mustahil majlis begini tidak diberkati. Apa akan berlakukah kemusnahan dan kehancuran? Sesungguhnya hanya Allah sahaja yang Mengetahui Segala Rahsia Kejadian.

Masa berlalu...

Sedar sedar hari ini aku sudah berada di Jengka. Walhal sebelah pagi aku berada di Bangi di rumah anak aku. Aku ke Bangi pada petang Ahad bertolak jam 6 ptg dengan isteri. Aku ke Bangi kerana anak lelaki aku terkandas di Paris, France kerana debu gunung berapi Eyjafjallajokull di Iceland yang telah menyelubungi seluruh Eropah. Tak tahu bila keadaan reda dan dapat flight balik. Jadi kenalah isteri aku menemani isteri dan anaknya buat sementara waktu. Tapi aku terpaksa pulang ke Temerloh pada pagi Isnin kerana banyak kerja yang belum beres. Sekarang musim exam. Tapi kena ke Bangi jugak pada Rabu ini. Itu pun selepas aku balik dari Jengka. Dan ada kawan mengajak aku bermain golf di Bangi pada pagi Khamis. Dan selepas golf kena balik ke Temerloh pulak. Rasanya selagi anak aku terkandas di Paris, berulang aliklah aku ke Bangi. Persoalannya, tak penatke aku...?


Nota:Gambar atas sebelah kanan mempamerkan gigihnya krew National Geographic sedang membuat penggambaran di aatas glasier berdekatan dengan gunung berapi Eyjafiallajokull.