leaving myself behind...

It is a heavy thought indeed. Why? I am trying very hard now to leave myself behind in dealing with what I called it a world without a terrain. Nobody can survived a terrain that seems to be endless in sight and extremes in all situation and interaction. Where would be the end mark? If that is the case, I have to proceed the other way, where I can be a person of no self. Then only a thought can be very light and penetrable and accessible. Allahuakbar.

instinct of animals..

I think I have acted wrongly..there are times when culture rules the action and the decision..And I have been victimized by the natural song of hate and hatred of the day orchestrated by anger, pain, agony, and sorrow of the culture. Semoga sentiasa dalam Perlindungan dan PerolonganNYA. Allahuakbar.

weakness..it seems contagious

I have been surrounded by them. Politically, economically, socially, culturally, it seems weaknesses are everywhere. It seems contagious. It seems historical. And what is worst it has been picked up from prehistoric days and passed it to us. Can they? Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

feel strange...

Feel time has been twisted. I am back into something that I have lost before. I am into something that is so revealing of what is to come. Am I to see the future back to back with my twisted time of the past. I have not had the chance to do that before. And now the whole scenario is meant for time moving backwards. And I feel I am moving forward - twisted. Feel strange. Hidup penuh keganjilan. Semoga Allah mengampunkan apa yang aku tulis ini. Allahuakbar.

my feeling...

I don't like to talk about feeling. Why? Because feeling has no face and no image. It is just nothing. Just a feel. It can be of many feels depending on what situation one is in. But surely a feel varies with age. Young and old, the feels are somewhat different. A fear feel of an old man is very different with feel of days when I am still a young boy. But there are times a revisit of feels of different stages in life experiences occur. It can be so nostalgic that throws me back to younger days in so many many years. Allahuakbar.

feel like..

Feel like I have not been traveling to all places in this world. Have I? Years in Wisconsin and Connecticut makes a person in me that refine the feeling and the thoughts. But why it seems I have not been there? But look at the way and manner you write things. Despite I am a Malay, what I write is strictly something that is not really defining in whatever terms. It seems a situation of  neutrality at its best. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

my life...

My life...when would it end? Nobody dares to ask such a question. Why not? In that question lies all secrets about one's life. Everybody has to face it. And after that what? kepada Allah saya bersujud rendah menyerah segala-gala yang ada kaitan dengan ciptaanNYA terhadap diri yang lemah ini. Allahuakbar.

erti hidup dan kehidupan...

Umur meningkat. Masa semakin singkat. Apa lagi yang dihajat? Laluan hidup dan kehidupan penuh peristiwa tidak berhenti dan terhenti dengan berganti hari, minggu, bulan, dan tahun. Yang berhenti hanya kita yang hidup ini. Sentiasa berdoa supaya hidup dan kehidupan memenuhi hajat dan hasrat yang tersembunyi dan disembunyi. Kekuasaan Allah dirasakan pada bisikan hati yang telah menempuh berbagai mimpi negeri sebelum ini. Hanya dengan Pertolongan dan Perlindungan Allah, segala-galaNYA berakhir dengan penuh kesyukuran. Yang baik dibuat teladan. Yang buruk dijadikan sempadan. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

ambushed...

Truly an act of ambushed! No turning back on what I foresee as a mental disaster. But everything goes out as planned. I did it! Despite the unruly spate of what earlier I called as clumsy, it works out fine defying odds initiallly seems a complex mental equation. Allahuakbar.

nothing about brain...all about food..

Nothing about motivations...all about reasons or no reasons whatsoever...a boy glued to a TV program is all for a reason. A girl glued to TV all day long speaks well for her motivation...Sense the differences? Have to be brief on this. Allahuakbar.

similarities, standardization, a new testing ground...

I have been trying to change it. I have been trying to shift it. Am I hearing the same whispers of old similarities in almost everything? Still seeing the old world of  motivations and reasons? Still in the same context of images and imagery. Should I allow myself to be surrounded by  ceremonial of all sorts as it has been? Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

Extreme lust..a natural positioning game.?

Four people have been killed and 16 injured after a US army specialist's shooting spree at Fort Hood, the Texas army base which five years ago was the site of the worst-ever mass killing in an American military installation. Ivan Lopez...

Ivan Lopez...shooting spree

Hard and difficult period of a person's life. But that sense of survival is in no one's power to determine. Extreme lust for not wanting to be last is a common trait in all creations. Everybody is in the position set to kill. Hanya dengan Pengetahuan ianya diperlihatkan penuh decorum, beradab dan beradat. Hanya kepada Mu Ya Allah di pohon Perlindungan dan Pertolongan. Allahuakbar.

ceremonial....

What a finding? These two days I have the luxury of making my search more distinctive. The blurs are turning into its true shape, form, and colors. The degree of reflections a person experienced in thinking, would  shape his future thoughts in knowledge, actions, and decisions. As such for those who are not reflective, their behavior are well based on the difficulties in being just ceremonial. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

being reflective vs being deflective..can both still be leaders...?

Reflective is absorbent in nature. Deflective is defensive in behavior. Both can be leaders in their ways and manner the nature of culture accepts them. Ideally a culture should accept a reflective leadership. But regrettably, leaders are of deflective in nature has occupied the central stage in middle east and Asian countries. Why? Generally, a group of their kind has emerged and the rule is well based on the principle of gangster ism. Can anybody reflects further on this? Or you just dismissed this just because you belong to another category of leadership. Allahuakbar.

True leaders are born reflective...

Extraordinarily reflective indeed. In a quiet way, they, the leaders know it at one point in their earlier life they have done a lot of reflections on life in general and also in specific terms on something. Elaboration and deliberation are so huge occupying their time and has overtaken their natural pace of human nature. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.