so sweet...

UiTM Golf Tournment at Golf Club Bera

Having dinner with wife, mother, brothers, sisters, son and in-laws, grandchildren and other family members

Amy, grand daughter 2 year-old, teasing me her grandpa

ready for a golf tee-off

It is a rare thing. But it does happen once in a while. It is about yesterday. What about yesterday? It is a day when the mood has been so sweet that makes me smile till I went to bed. Life can be richer with smiles of faces of friends and smiles of family members. And yesterday it was just that. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

reset from inside...

The reset always occurs from the inside of me, and not from those who are from outside. One can never be that revolutionary to reset things, so to speak. It evolves as it does happen to me few hours ago. I am struck that instant, and it changes my view point and my basic fear. Nevertheless, the shift has been somewhat slow. If ever there is fear, the cause is from inside and not from those who are outside. The quake is from the crater and the cradle of a mountain. To a passer by, things has always been beautiful till it erupts and the scenery can never be the same again. Allahuakbar.

don't worry, there is always...

I don't have to worry. There is always a theory to anything, something, and somebody. Life can become neat and tidy because of the theory. It is just like a broom, it cleans up the mess caused by uncertainties and doubts. Allah is great. Allahuakbar.

a small word, a short writing, a strong inspiration...

From me, to me, and by me. Is it for me too? Not that many appreciate what one person is doing or has been doing. What more things pertain to write and writing. I am just alone in things I wrote and in things I write. Is that what life is all about? And in the same breadth, is that what death is about? Is it not, being alone has been very much a big part of one's life and very much so in one's death? Allahuakbar.

When it does happen...

Initially, thoughts can be haywire. Socially, culturally, personally, and all implications of dreams to reality shall be in placed and put to function before it tends to be displaced and replaced again for an unknown destination. It can occur in a short time or it takes much time longer. But it can also reset a reality back to a dream situation. Thus for a moment it can be a very sorry and regrettable case. But remember, to win a war, a battle after battle has to be fought and won over. But if it is already past the time, there is no turning back. A strategy might just don't work. And a declared war can be a guerrilla warfare. It can be very costly. Whatever, the effort and the event thus far, is it sustainable? Some would be seen as just touch and go situation. And others are just with an unbelievable expression, I make it! Have I? Atas Segala-Galanya, kepada Allah saya berserah dan bersyukur. Allahuakbar.

trying to tell me something..?

I have power, but I don't behave like one.  I have words, am I wasting it?  I have doubts and delusions and got to make a stand. Feel don't have the energy for what I am doing now. Have I been channeling it for a wrong cause and for a wrong person and for a wrong reason? Have I? Is it time for me to make a bold move and take the giant steps? Kepada Allah saya memohon pertolongan, taufik dan hidayah. Allahuakbar.

in the mental sense...getting to know me..

 Braving the feel, the wants and the words...

In the physical sense, I am an old man. I am old in the eyes who sees me. But to me, I am very much a man in the mental sense. That is how I see and feel about myself. I am the beholder. I am the one who feels it. The issue is, I am living in the world of physical sense, socially and culturally. Socially, I am a displaced person. Culturally, I am a also a displaced person. Not once I have been treated squarely, not anymore. Every time it is by the side affair. Always by the side, by the steps, by chance, and by accident. Why not they come to my office and talk squarely  to me about what they want and about their problem? Who am I? Socially and culturally, I am an old man. Wonder when and where I would be treated squarely again? To Allah, everybody is at the center of creations, and all being treated squarely be it in the physical sense or in the mental sense. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

making it happen...

Each steps I take, the result is none other than trying to make it happen. If it does happen the manner it should happen, Alhamdullilah. But why far from the feel I am the one who causes it? Am I in control? In real steps it is  none other than my steps. But eventually, I feel I don't belong.  Do I in any way contributes to that scenario of success?  Kepada Allah saya menyerah dan memohon keampunan. Allahuakbar.

What am I doing here?

I have been asking this question lots of times. Too many. The answer has been nothing if asked by minute and by day, can be mystique by month and by year, and divine by life to life and no life. And now by word to word and by topic to topic. The appropriate question to that, what am I writing about? And mercilessly, it can take a sudden turn from being something to something. And it is unfortunate when a friend turns out to be no friend after all. And the change can be instant! What a display in self arrogance and life indeed is an ignorance. 

What I am doing here? Too often I am made to understand not to understand. It is very much like leaving a game in the midst of neither winning nor losing. Well it does look like winning the moment I turn to Allah for everything that comes and goes. Just pick and choose. And the story comes handy in its true self, color, and form. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

Lights off...

It is not lights off, it is a blackout. For a few hours, everything is in the dark. Despite the greatness in technology, human can always find themselves in an error making situation. They did. and they still do. They are not perfect. They make mistakes. A blackout. Who is to be blamed? Sesungguhnya Allah is Great. Pohonlah Taufik dan Hidayah. Allahuakbar.

they called it...

Self-actualization?

where it begins..

the act of self-actualization. What is that? Has it not been the center to what I have been doing all this while? It does look like a destination to me,  my destination. Destined to be at that place, the place that has been top most place my life can be and want to be. Does it resembles a pyramid to the pharaoh? Surely it does not have the structure that resembles the Tun Mahathir KLCC's. The grandiose is not in the height and the dollar value but something that reflects Islam that i feel is just beside and inside me. Allahuakbar.

sharing...

The mind

The heart and the soul

It must be well distributed among the three elements of consciousness - the mind, the heart, and the soul. Well placed and felt, but might not be so in the eyes of the beholder. Thus at all times the three shall be well synchronized befitting the work done. It should be well looked and understood as a truly and genuine sharing process of life per se. Management and to manage is essentially the work of the mind. Implementing it is the work of the heart. And sustaining it is very much the function of the soul. We can easily get bored with things that seems to be repeating. This is because boredom is not made of soul but of mind and heart. And most of the time the heart tends to override the logic of the mind. But with the consciousness of the soul, each minute of being awake is putting ourself to the Greatness of Allah. Allahuakbar.

a small one...?

Allahuakbar. Allah is Great. To others it might be just a small gesture that has been described as nothing. Allahuakbar. But to me, It strikes right at the center of reason that breaks all delusions. It struck hard. And it can be a destroyer. But it is not. It is an act of unity to what I am. Allahuakbar.

braving the earth, the sun, the moon...and the people..

The moon,  the sun, the earth, and the people. Just the four? But it takes a long time to have it all linked to the mind, heart, and soul. Once it has been successfully attached to each other, the wonder world becomes one. It cuts across all continents, all rivers, all seas, all mountains, and all people. And all the planets and the galaxies. And to this very minute and to this very second.  Fast and quick. That sense of Greatness. Allahuakbar.

bersalut..

Beware of feelings without words to express. Beware of feeling without words to write. Those feelings are well stuck to grounds that could not easily be uprooted. It is truly a feel of terrorist and terrorism, so to speak. In short, all smiles are genuine to the heart and not the mind. The two are well separated from each other. What could coordinates the two is a good soul well purified by the words of Al-Quran. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.