Wednesday, April 30, 2014

am I still up to something? Or I am playing their game..?

It is either which. Nothing in between. It is either for or against. It is either gaining strength or losing strength. But as for me, it is neither nor either. Don't have to say more. It is all with a meaning. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar. 

Tuesday, April 29, 2014

Obama has left Malaysia for Philippines..

After 48 years, Barack Obama makes an historic visit to Malaysia. Before that Lyndon B Johnson in the year 1966. Let us do some mathematics on when will be the next visit by President of USA to Malaysia. 2014 minus 1966 = 48.  2014 + 48 = 2062. If Malaysia failed to live up to modern technology and still fared badly in all spheres of competition, year 2062 would be the likely year another President of USA would be visiting Malaysia. If we live up to expectations of a futuristic world and universe, it might be sooner. The basic principle of survival of the fittest still rules what comes first and what comes second. Semoga Allah memberi Kekuatan kepada Malaysia lantas dapat mendahului negara lain dalam kemajuan apa sahaja. InsyaAllah. Allahuakbar.

Monday, April 28, 2014

performance measured..

Performance can be measured in its entirety. How and why? It is easy. Just have to narrow my efforts and results. No more in years and months but in days and hours.And no more big dreams of tomorrow. My tomorrow is today. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Sunday, April 27, 2014

1966 -1984 - 2014..and 1967

Don't get me wrong. The year 1966 reminds me of Lyndon Baine Johnson, 36th President of USA then make an historic first visit of USA's President to Malaysia on his way to Vietnam then in the midst of Vietnam war. I was then at Rubber Research Institute Sg Buloh undergoing a 3 months training for the position of Assistant Rubber Instructor. It has been said the President would be visiting RRI Sg Buloh and how excited I am for it would be my chance to see in person President of USA. Unfortunately, for security reason, it was canceled at the last minute.

Again, in the year 1984 (?), I was presented with another opportunity to see another President of USA, and he is Ronald Reagan. He is going to be at Waterbury, Connecticut, USA, campaigning for his second-term being President of USA. I was then a student at New Haven, a town just a few miles from Waterbury. Again, I missed the opportunity because, for security reasons, all roads leading to Waterbury were closed.

2014 could be year of just having a glance at Barack Obama on TV. He is the 44th President of USA making an historic two-day visit to Malaysia, after 48 years of Lyndon Johnson's visit. But by now the thrill is not like yesterday. Those days we have issues like `cold war', `vietnam war', `apatheid', and a growing communist MaoTseTung's influence and threat in South East Asia. 

Still want to see Obama? I could just make a trip to KL, a 2-hour journey from Temerloh. But that 2 hours can be a precious moment just to be with myself at home. Haha..I am now a `President' in my own ways.Why should I see another President if I am not given the chance to have a chit chat with him on issues like Russia and Ukraine, human rights, climatic change, vanishing of Aircraft MH370, Trade Agreement in TPPA, and other global issues.

Well, despite I stood no chance in seeing living world leaders in action, it is not a gone case altogether. I did have my opportunity. That was in the year 1967. My father and me, only two of us, and for a reason, we have made a trip to see Tun Razak Hussein, 2nd Prime Minister of Malaysia, at his official residence, Sri Taman, Kuala Lumpur. We were invited in and after 20 minutes, we bid Tun Razak and his wife Toh Puan Raha good bye. And that meeting with Tun Razak has changed my life for the better and for what I am now. Wallahualam.


Saturday, April 26, 2014


That is what they called it. Writing. To them writing is not easy. Why the difficulties? I myself don't understand it. Writing is such an easy activity. Just let go anything from inside. That inside could be the heart, the brain, the thoughts, and whatever that makes writing possible. What about feeling in writing? Yes. Feeling. My feeling. I don't know whether I have it or I don't have it. Just throw myself out and what I write and splash is mine. Mine? I could write anything. Anything from point A to Z. But I have to stop when I feel I have written enough. Kepada Allah saya menyerah. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA, Allahuakbar.

Friday, April 25, 2014


Not in terms of money but in terms of finding myself at the right place, right time, and right in things I do for the day. And in the evening I am home.What about work and more money? I do think about it but what matters are opportunities that are tied closely to what I really want as a man of my age. And I got it. Is that not a success? Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Thursday, April 24, 2014

sensing global..mengesan kebenaran..

Hati yang jahat tidak menyedari ada hati yang baik sedang memerhati. Pengetahuan yang sumbang dan songsang tidak menyedari pengetahuan yang penuh dengan kemanfaatan. Banyak sudah yang terdengar dan banyak sudah yang terkata. Ditanya mengapa dirasakan masih `menyakitkan hati'? Ini kerana kata kata dan perbuatan mereka tidak benar benar `global' sifatnya. Ada sahaja kata-kata yang `menidakkkan' globalnya kita dalam kehidupan.Tetapi mengapa penglobalan sebenar dirasakan hanya dalam `kematian'? Benarkah? Betulkah? Wallahualam. Hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

those days...

Those days fly with time. I am now on a new set of platform that seems to be of no difference with those days. Those days I have my thrills and looking forward to another day. And today I seem not to really counting on the same thing. I am just a person of no future in the true sense of the word. I am what I am. Despite the so-called big events happened to me, I am just me looking forward to another day. Just like those days. Allahuakbar.

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

No more pressure of that nature...

I am somewhat happy these days. This is because the life pressure I am experiencing now is somewhat of my own making, so to speak. I am now free from being dictated by others. I am my own boss but to an extent still feel the pressure of my own doing or making. I can do the escape from it all whenever I feel like it. All thoughts inclusive? Except for some basic concerns. That keeps the pressure down and within my capacity to manage it. But what pressure me most is thinking about tomorrow. What would be tomorrow like? Would it spells happiness in terms of much much much money? Or happiness in terms of something intangible other than monetary? Kepada Allah saya berserah. kepada Allah saya memohon tambahan rezeki. Kepada Allah saya memohon Perlindungan. Allahuakbar.

Monday, April 21, 2014

too much or too little...? How come you know..?

A quiet world. Are we force into it? Or are there missions to it? With all the vital organs equipped with sensory capabilities, we must be here in order to do a sensing on something. Life is indeed a sensing process. And Allah creates that sense organs in all of us in order to find something and in the process to be and at peace with everybody. Are we? Allahuakbar.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

thinking twisting..

Thinking twisting, thinking turning, and thinking diving, all has been a way of me to get into something. In the process, a straight thought is being discovered...and thus preparing me for a straight path that can set free hindrances and mental blocks of all kinds. Wallahualam. Kepada Mu Ya Allah saya memohon Pertolongan dan Perlindugan. Allahuakbar.

Saturday, April 19, 2014


A sense of being assisted and help in things I do. All are in place and I have never thought it might happen. What can I say. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

Friday, April 18, 2014

what a day..

I want to make it a point to write something everyday. And today is of no exception. But it is with a difference. I write against a background of accidents of a kind, of some kind. I just want to express it in pictures. No words can explain it. Allahuakbar.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

dunia lain...

Telah dipijak tetapi tidak dirasai sangat. Mungkin kerana masih merasakan keterikatan dengan cerita lama dunia lama. Tetapi berbagai peristiwa yang berlaku, dan ada yang terlalu `definite' sifatnya, maka dirasai sangat, saya sememangnya telah berada di dunia lain dengan rangkaian kepelbagaian yang mencakup soal morality, humanity, dan kerohanian. Terlalu sukar rasanya hendak diredah. Dunia ini kecil. Masa pun tak lama. Syukur kerana dapat merasakan pengembaraan yang sebenar selepas berdunia begitu lama dengan dunia lain sebelum ini. Maafkan saya jika tulisan saya ini kurang jelas dan menggelirukan. Allahuakbar.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

titik tengah...the middle spot..

It spans the whole planet, the galaxies, the whole universe, and the whole time, past and present. And I shall be springing back to where I formerly belong. After experiencing life for quite sometime, I found the middle spot that is the `titik tengah' of that `infinity'. In order to understand a layer of a particular time in the past, I just have to switch to the `titik tengah' that sprung all the movements, actions, and decisions at that particular time. The events then can be understood in its own `logical' and `rational' manner. Allahuakbar.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

leaving myself behind...

It is a heavy thought indeed. Why? I am trying very hard now to leave myself behind in dealing with what I called it a world without a terrain. Nobody can survived a terrain that seems to be endless in sight and extremes in all situation and interaction. Where would be the end mark? If that is the case, I have to proceed the other way, where I can be a person of no self. Then only a thought can be very light and penetrable and accessible. Allahuakbar.

Monday, April 14, 2014

instinct of animals..

I think I have acted wrongly..there are times when culture rules the action and the decision..And I have been victimized by the natural song of hate and hatred of the day orchestrated by anger, pain, agony, and sorrow of the culture. Semoga sentiasa dalam Perlindungan dan PerolonganNYA. Allahuakbar.

Sunday, April 13, 2014 seems contagious

I have been surrounded by them. Politically, economically, socially, culturally, it seems weaknesses are everywhere. It seems contagious. It seems historical. And what is worst it has been picked up from prehistoric days and passed it to us. Can they? Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

Saturday, April 12, 2014

feel strange...

Feel time has been twisted. I am back into something that I have lost before. I am into something that is so revealing of what is to come. Am I to see the future back to back with my twisted time of the past. I have not had the chance to do that before. And now the whole scenario is meant for time moving backwards. And I feel I am moving forward - twisted. Feel strange. Hidup penuh keganjilan. Semoga Allah mengampunkan apa yang aku tulis ini. Allahuakbar.

Friday, April 11, 2014

my feeling...

I don't like to talk about feeling. Why? Because feeling has no face and no image. It is just nothing. Just a feel. It can be of many feels depending on what situation one is in. But surely a feel varies with age. Young and old, the feels are somewhat different. A fear feel of an old man is very different with feel of days when I am still a young boy. But there are times a revisit of feels of different stages in life experiences occur. It can be so nostalgic that throws me back to younger days in so many many years. Allahuakbar.

Thursday, April 10, 2014

feel like..

Feel like I have not been traveling to all places in this world. Have I? Years in Wisconsin and Connecticut makes a person in me that refine the feeling and the thoughts. But why it seems I have not been there? But look at the way and manner you write things. Despite I am a Malay, what I write is strictly something that is not really defining in whatever terms. It seems a situation of  neutrality at its best. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

my life...

My life...when would it end? Nobody dares to ask such a question. Why not? In that question lies all secrets about one's life. Everybody has to face it. And after that what? kepada Allah saya bersujud rendah menyerah segala-gala yang ada kaitan dengan ciptaanNYA terhadap diri yang lemah ini. Allahuakbar.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

erti hidup dan kehidupan...

Umur meningkat. Masa semakin singkat. Apa lagi yang dihajat? Laluan hidup dan kehidupan penuh peristiwa tidak berhenti dan terhenti dengan berganti hari, minggu, bulan, dan tahun. Yang berhenti hanya kita yang hidup ini. Sentiasa berdoa supaya hidup dan kehidupan memenuhi hajat dan hasrat yang tersembunyi dan disembunyi. Kekuasaan Allah dirasakan pada bisikan hati yang telah menempuh berbagai mimpi negeri sebelum ini. Hanya dengan Pertolongan dan Perlindungan Allah, segala-galaNYA berakhir dengan penuh kesyukuran. Yang baik dibuat teladan. Yang buruk dijadikan sempadan. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

Monday, April 7, 2014


Truly an act of ambushed! No turning back on what I foresee as a mental disaster. But everything goes out as planned. I did it! Despite the unruly spate of what earlier I called as clumsy, it works out fine defying odds initiallly seems a complex mental equation. Allahuakbar.

Sunday, April 6, 2014

nothing about brain...all about food..

Nothing about motivations...all about reasons or no reasons whatsoever...a boy glued to a TV program is all for a reason. A girl glued to TV all day long speaks well for her motivation...Sense the differences? Have to be brief on this. Allahuakbar.

Saturday, April 5, 2014

similarities, standardization, a new testing ground...

I have been trying to change it. I have been trying to shift it. Am I hearing the same whispers of old similarities in almost everything? Still seeing the old world of  motivations and reasons? Still in the same context of images and imagery. Should I allow myself to be surrounded by  ceremonial of all sorts as it has been? Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Extreme lust..a natural positioning game.?

Four people have been killed and 16 injured after a US army specialist's shooting spree at Fort Hood, the Texas army base which five years ago was the site of the worst-ever mass killing in an American military installation. Ivan Lopez...
Ivan Lopez...shooting spree

Hard and difficult period of a person's life. But that sense of survival is in no one's power to determine. Extreme lust for not wanting to be last is a common trait in all creations. Everybody is in the position set to kill. Hanya dengan Pengetahuan ianya diperlihatkan penuh decorum, beradab dan beradat. Hanya kepada Mu Ya Allah di pohon Perlindungan dan Pertolongan. Allahuakbar.

Thursday, April 3, 2014


What a finding? These two days I have the luxury of making my search more distinctive. The blurs are turning into its true shape, form, and colors. The degree of reflections a person experienced in thinking, would  shape his future thoughts in knowledge, actions, and decisions. As such for those who are not reflective, their behavior are well based on the difficulties in being just ceremonial. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Wednesday, April 2, 2014

being reflective vs being deflective..can both still be leaders...?

Reflective is absorbent in nature. Deflective is defensive in behavior. Both can be leaders in their ways and manner the nature of culture accepts them. Ideally a culture should accept a reflective leadership. But regrettably, leaders are of deflective in nature has occupied the central stage in middle east and Asian countries. Why? Generally, a group of their kind has emerged and the rule is well based on the principle of gangster ism. Can anybody reflects further on this? Or you just dismissed this just because you belong to another category of leadership. Allahuakbar.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

True leaders are born reflective...

Extraordinarily reflective indeed. In a quiet way, they, the leaders know it at one point in their earlier life they have done a lot of reflections on life in general and also in specific terms on something. Elaboration and deliberation are so huge occupying their time and has overtaken their natural pace of human nature. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.