Saturday, October 31, 2009

Why do we smile..?

Want to know why? Similing is an act of adaptation. Animals don't smile because they have no problem with adaptation. We smile because we have a serious problem with adaptation. We smile a lot when we are with friends. Money can makes us smile. But not for long. Smile is an heart felt act of human being to another. When we are far away from home we smile less. The discomfort of a place indicates that we are not that adaptive. It is not the place but the people. Fear is a serious act of wanting to run away from an `enemy.' Instead,we cry. Some says of fear as if we are very emotional with something or with somebody. But why the smile? This is because life has been solitary and without a friend and a smile we are just lost in our own small world. So smile my friend to another and make today his or her day! And you know what? Yesterday I dreamt of someone and she makes me smile. Hoho haha.

Friday, October 30, 2009

The earlier feel is the hardest to erase...

Anything and anything at all, apparently the earlier feel has a control on the perception. It is hard to assess the depth, the width and the breadth of the effect, but it is just there. On the basis of earlier feel,the whole wide world is just a small world. My own small world of personal values, culture, and social. There is no such thing as border destruct that can allow us to have a free hand on everything. We are just motionless and in some situation helpless and at the mercy of the earlier impression created by experiences during birth and childhood. And at this point of my life I am still arguing about the way I see and feel things. Despite that, whoever I am, is it just a continuity or an extension of that earlier feel of mine?

Thursday, October 29, 2009


I was awake when the word influence bothers me to the bones. That day I was confronted with a situation where I was told to do something. So subtle and I don't give a damn to what has been said till I was all alone by myself that night. I begin to question the spirit of the `advice.' Is he sincere in the things said? At no other moment he cares but why now? In respect to this, the influence has to be scrutinized because it lacks details what more a direction. It is being given with no clear direction being laid out. The advice is very much one-sided, one way, and lacks of mutual understanding of one another. He does not understand me. He only understand himself. It is an influence but an influence that justified nothing. Should I care and follow his advice? All things has an element of influence. But which one can be construed as to be near to truth and nothing but only the truth? Know what I mean? Listen to the radio, watch TV, and read the newspapers. All are considered as medium to influence. The factor of influence are well planned in order to make you a believer of what has been said. Know what I mean? haha. Am I here to influence?

closes to one's heart...where is the smile?

Closest to one's heart. What is it? Don't really know what. Love to see the world moves in tandem with one's heart. Right now I am just delighted with what has happened. How come? Don't have the answer to that. I am what I am. Haha. The world tends to share the feeling of yours at this very minute. Just love to write something nonsense and the world is seen as nonsense too. Even the presidents and the prime ministers are seen as having fun with their round of daily activities despite the no nonsense attitude of certain people. In no certain terms, it is quite hard to predict what is going to happen tomorrow. Things can turn sour without any warning. But I am always positive with things to come. Why? This is because I do things that are only close to my heart. And heart sees and says the truth. Is that what everybody wants? Haha.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

How to become a millionaire..

It has a positive impact. It is a turn on. Everybody wants to know about it. Easy said and its easy to be a millionaire! I have never said it. Why? It is none other not believing in myself. No! This is because I am not selling anything. If you want to become a millionaire you must have something to sell. That has been the negative part of me all along. I write but why not at the same time I sell something. So as of today think of something you can sell. Anybody out there who can help me with something that I can sell?

Tuesday, October 27, 2009


The Reconciliation..

The quick, the fast, and the slow. The ups and the downs. The thick and the thin. Being cheated and being trapped. The planning and the impulse. The convenience and the unsought. The money and the charity. The giver and the taker. The beauty and the queen. The queen and the king. Friends are found to be a foe. An organization that sees nothing but power and selfishness. The frail and the country of the blind. The fakir and the wealthy. The royal and the people. The president and the third world countries. The prisoner and the junta. A step forward is a step backward. At odd with something and somebody. The women and the lover. The husband and the wife. The father sees all and the mother loves all. And the brothers creates havoc of 5.6 Richter scale. Love life and love death. Knows not and hears not. But has to be there somehow. Need to reconcile at some point. Have to do some thinking. Have to stay back and do the reconciliation.

Monday, October 26, 2009

Away from the pharoahs...

Dimensional life is possible these days. With knowledge we can travel far and wide into any land we wish to be. Just a thought away and why not a stop by at a dwelling whose curse was none other than that of the pharoah. Just imagine a tide of thought going back to the dark ages of the mind of yesterday. So big, gigantic, and powerful the phraoh is, being revered by the people without really questioning the possibilities of seeing the day break of tomorrow. Life was just seen as death and it is just any second away. The land belongs to the phroah and when you are summoned to build a pyramid it means you are being given the honour to be part of the royal death of the phroah and their wealth, any time and any day. This day, today, at this dwelling, a mother is witnessing the curse of the phroah entering the body of her very sick son just because he chosed to be away from the pharoah. To the people the curse is real. An honour awarded and it must be taken. It is an award from the palace. No one can refuse and no one can find himself or herself away from the pharoah. For if it does, it spells nothing but sorrow and death. Haha. Luckily we were born in the 20th century and have seen the day break of the 21st century! Can we be away from anything?

Sunday, October 25, 2009

Lost In the wilderness..

Lost as in lost? Yes. I am asking you that question. Are you lost? Well, I have been walking for quite sometime now and I am not really sure whether I have reached my destination or not. Day and night, it changes everyday, and I have seen a lot of things in the days and in the nights. Good things, bad things, and the devils. I have been to somewhere and everywhere. But what actually do I see? Today, and today I look around and find that everybody seems to be just like me. They too are walking to somewhere. Is it somewhere or anywhere? Some stop upon seeing each other and exchange occurs in the form of just talking or just concentrating on the so-called games they played with each other. Back home I do some kind of a watching at others on what they called as TV screen. It depicts life that seem to be so dramatic in their seeking of what they called happiness. Am I experiencing the same kind of drama in seeking happiness? Happiness is a continuity in things we experience everyday. What makes happiness continues to the next day, next year and thus the next chapter is the principles we hold tenanciuously and would not have it traded for anything. Not for a million bucks, so to speak. But in the process of walking, we are so easily tired and thus we can easily be cheated with a scenario of promised land of happiness. Principles are principles. It is a bridge to the next episode of happy life. But unfortunately many do not realized that a short term pleasure is an act of burning the bridge to the next shore of happiness. Losing the next shore meaning putting oneself in the wilderness of time and place that promised nothing but torture and torment. I am asking you. Are you tired? Me tired? Not me. What about you?

Friday, October 23, 2009

The feel, the smile, and the secret in faces..

The first instance I look at someone it tells me a thousand stories. It tells me the story of that particular person from start to finish. A peculiar smile that says he or she is as strong as the great wall of China. But there is a smile that make me wonder of what he or she is up to. Neither innocent nor cynical, but sheer staring at something that is not there. A face that keeps a thousand secrets and if you dare that kind of person can easily be conquered and persuaded. Haha. Enough of faces, secrets, and feel. Time to move on and stop this nonsense. Nonsense? Well you can make a fortune if you can tell someone by just looking at the face and the smiles. But what about if the face is all smile and no face? Meaning muka tak malu lah.Hehe.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Life has always been a mystery..

No matter where you turned to for help, answers are not easy to come by. Life is as serious as death. But till the end of his life he is still behaving as though life is without the final chapter. I have an experience with a man who in his life time never really like me. Avoidance is the right word when I see him coming my way. Now he is already dead. One month or two months before he died, I still see him as a man whom harbours a kind of an old and ill feeling towards me. The funny thing is that I am still carrying that perception even to the day he died. Am I the one who does not change or he is? Someone who is going to die in two months surely would discard his bad habits and thoughts on others. Did he? Don't really know the answer. Life is a combination of many things and many people. We have no other place to go except the mother earth. But why the weird things that have come in our way? There are instances our actions and views are inappropriately imposed on us and others for no clear reasons. Well, life has and always been a mystery.

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

My own doing, making, and marking?

Very little of things created are of man's own doing, making, and marking. Much of it are caused by group's own doing,making, and marking. As an individual, they are definitely not the sole maker of what he thinks he makes. You as an individual can disown things but not the group. But sometimes you can sense the selfishness in a person in wanting to leave his or her mark of doing, making, and thus the marking. Despite their selfish effort, again much of the marking, and making are group generated effort. Thus we cannot fight the wave of change that can creates ripples and havoc, and tsunami everywhere on earth and beyond earth into the galaxies of stars and other planets. Thus the doing, the making, and the marks everywhere, who creates it and who owns it?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Sense of neutrality...

Writing and experience are world apart. The word experience has a lot of connotation ranging from physical to mental experience. Whatever. It denotes something that is not static but always on the move or on the run. And all this time I am writing as a fugitive. Not now and not anymore. Do I write with somebody or something in mind? Do I? But what and who? In reality it is for no one except me. So no need on my part to be so concerned who would be my readers. That sense of neutrality must be felt from within when writing something. I am just on my own running errand to my own thought. Sense of neutrality is the catalyst to what I am thinking about. Associate with no one and I am as free as the wind. While writing my thoughts, the association could be as innocent as the cat that is meowing for food. Or just pondering on nothing but something. Am I losing my mind? Certainly not! I am just experimenting with something that is strictly yourself. I am just that man with that sense of neutrality. Something foolish but it is great and very satisfying.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Terlepas pandang atau buat apa pandang...

Dalam semangat baik dan muhibbah kita katakan terlepas pandang. Tapi dalam nada kesal dan menyampah mereka kata buat apa pandang. Orang kaya menggangap orang miskin itu tidak berguna maka terlepaslah kata kata seperti buat apa pandang, tak mendatangkan faedah. Itu sebelum pilihanraya mungkin. Tapi bila pilihanraya tiba, maka terdengar kata kata `kami tidak lagi terlepas pandang akan perkara perkara bersabit kemiskinan rakyat.' Hendak menyedapkan lagi cerita, orang filem pulak berkata `jangan pandang belakang.' Inilah dunia yang dipenuhi dengan wabak wabak lakonan yang tidak telus dan tidak lurus. Hidup tetap hidup. Perjuangan tetap perjuangan. Kita kena pandang masa depan. haha.

Sunday, October 18, 2009

Jet peribadi selebriti..

Lakonan mereka memenuhi keperluan penonton seluruh dunia. Ini bererti setiap kita menyumbang kepada kekayaan mereka. Dengan infrastruktur ekonomi dan lain-lain yang sudah terbina dengan rapinya di Amerika, industri hiburan dan perfileman mereka juga telah berjaya menguasai pasaran seluruh dunia. Lantas termiliklah jet peribadi seperti paparan gambar John Travolta dan artis artis lain yang mana cerita mereka dimuatkan dalam surat khabar perdana kita Utusan Malaysia. Mungkin tidak adil jika kita membandingkan kekayaan mereka dengan selebriti kita di Malaysia. Infrastruktur pemasaran dan ekonomi kita masih lagi daif dan tambahan pula lakonan artis kita tidak berjaya menembusi pasaran walaupun di tenggara asia. Malang sekali atau sememangnya dah begitu lakaran hidup yang terdapat di Asia Tenggara ini termasuk di Malaysia. Indonesia memiliki penduduk seramai 237 juta sama ramainya dengan Amerika Syarikat (308 juta) tetapi juga mundur dan terkebelakang. Kerana apa? Kerana kita masih lagi tidak bersatu dalam banyak hal. Kita suka berkelahi atas perkara remeh dan kecil. Sedikit sekali terdapat aura antarabangsa pada pemimpin dan kepemimpinan di kalangan kita. Dalam banyak hal kemegahan yang dirasa hanya untuk hari ini dan untuk kelompok kecil dan diri kita sendiri sahaja. Lantas kita hanya berlegar dan berlumba dalam wadah yang kecil itu (fizikal dan mental). Boleh berjaya ke kita? Saya yakin dan percaya, jika aura antarabangsa dapat melekat kepada pemikiran kita, dalam masa yang terdekat Malaysia juga akan bebas dari kekepungan rendah diri ini dan dapat melangkah keluar menembusi pasaran dunia yang sangat berpotensi dan terbuka luas itu. InsyaAllah.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Khairy's `siege mentality'...

Ketua Pemuda UMNO, Khairy, sangat cenderung menggunakan istilah-istilah yang `extreme' sifatnya. Dalam ucapannya diperwakilan UMNO, beliau menggunakan perkataan`siege' yang membawa pengertian bahawa kita berada dalam keadaan kekepungan. Dan beliau juga telah membuka `bilik perang' dalam menghadapi pilihanraya yang ke-13. Perang? Siapa sebenarnya `under siege' di sini? Setiap orang di dunia ini sedikit sebanyak dalam pengaruh sesuatu dan ini termasuk saya. Tetapi kita mesti ingat kita dijadikan untuk berfikir. Dan peranan fikir adalah membebaskan kita dari fikiran jumud atau yang beku. Lumrah manusia dalam keadaan `siege' adalah perkembangan biasa. UMNO dahulunya adalah keadaan terkepung dengan mentaliti yang tidak menentu termasuklah dilabel sebagai sebuah parti elit dan berbangsawan. Betul ke? Dato' Seri Najib sedar akan hal ini. Maka berlakunya pemindaan perlembagaan UMNO yang dianggap drastik ini dengan harapan mempercepatkan kita bebas dari `siege mentality' yang akan membantut perkembangan otak kita. Antaranya amalan bodek, kipas, dan sikap bermuka muka. Diharapkan lepas ini, kita hanya memikirkan peningkatan ekonomi negara dan dengan tersendirinya kita sebagai individu akan turut maju. Biarlah hal politik ditentukan oleh mereka yang benar benar ada ketokohan di situ. InsyaAllah.

Friday, October 16, 2009

UMNO selepas keterbukaan...

Saya merasakan selepas ini UMNO akan menjadi parti yang kuat dan menjadi ikutan pula kepada parti komponen BN dan juga parti pakatan dalam usaha menentukan kepemimpinan mereka. Selama ini pengurusan parti politik di Malaysia sangat tertutup, sombong, dan kegersangan. Tak kiralah parti mana DAP, MIC, MCA, UMNO, PKR, PPP, dan juga PAS kesemuanya takut membuka cara mereka memilih pemimpin. Tapi hari ini UMNO telah melakukan sesuatu yang dianggap drastik dan boleh menjadi ikutan pula. Kata orang putih `it heals a lot of pain among party members and party leaders. But at the same time the rotten ones would soon be kicked out from their positions way down to the division and branch levels. 146,000 members are being given the right to vote their leaders. Law of large numbers never lie and manipulation become impossible.' Hari ini dalam menjalankan tugas harian, saya sendiri merasakan keterbukaan kepada semua perkara. Itulah kesan awalnya. Dan tidak lama lagi kita akan dapat menyaksikan perubahan bukan sahaja kepada soal politik tetapi juga kepada soal budaya, sosial dan pentadbiran negara. There is a saying which says, good thought would lead to good life and good feeling.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Bagan Pinang and answers to BN losing streak..

Simple. BN tries to hide the identity of their candidate till to the last minute. So is Pas and other political parties. This is because from the start they don't develop leaders but only followers. And political leaders are not that many around. Bagan Pinang has Isa Samad for a long time and waiting for the right moment in fielding him. He cannot be substituted because of his grassroot followers. He is the natural leader to them. Edward Kennedy has been the senator till his death at age 77.He has his bad moment of scandals and what not. But his leadership skill has no substitution. Age does not matter so long you are a team player. Politics is different from business organization. We must remember politics is a team game and no one man can be a leader for ever. But political leaders are different from business leaders. They are not the same. So make a search now, identify them and develop them.

Monday, October 12, 2009

He touches their heart...

A sick man does not really care of the background of the doctor treating him. Meaning the sick man is only interested in the future and that he can be healthy again. The doctor might have a very bad personal record but does the sick man cares? What matters the doctor is good in treating his patient. He can prescribe the best of medicines that can make him walk again. Thank you.

The by-election at Bagan Pinang, saw the doctor in Isa Samad. Their heart has already being touched by Isa Samad long before the election. When the opportunity arises for them to show their gratefulness, on the election day, they voted Isa Samad in as their representative.
As for them, he knows no other man except Isa because he has always there for them.
For that I have to congratulate Tan Sri Isa Samad. Keep up the good work. Congratulation..!

Sunday, October 11, 2009

They were nowhere near the ranking of leaders..

They were mere ordinary human beings who were being created equal. They are no leaders. Just being an opportunist who happens to be there at the right time and grabbed the opportunity. Pity them. They are no big names in history. We should be proud of leaders like Tunku Abdul Rahman and Tun Razak. Pity Chua Soi Lek and Ong Tee Keat. They are just nothing. Despite everything, their delegates do not look upon them as asset. What more to our beloved nation, Malaysia. All this time I have been wasting my time on both of you.

They don't deserve spaces in newspapers and time on TV. Soon both of you would be just a sentence in history book. When drafting questions for public examination papers, they still prefer Tun Tan Siew Sin and Tun Tan Chen Lock. What about answers? They got it all wrong. They just can't remember the names in Chua Soi Lek and Ong Tee Keat. They are just nowhere in the ranking of Malaysian leaders! Just nobody. MAAF? Kau cerminlah muka engkau sendiri..

Saturday, October 10, 2009

UN remembers: Of actions,decisions, directions, words, and freedom..

So many words being thrown and tossed around. So many and thus it is not easy to identify the ones that can be definite about something. Who says what and why are sheer rhetoric that can fool many. It is a phenomenon that are acceptable to all and has become a way of life. Are the words for real? Some words are powerful thought piece that are not easily said unless it can be easily done. Who actually are the powerful ones then? Only those with high positions, power, and money, lots of it. As such mankind is not actually free from their own personal thought bond because those who are in high positions are the ones who are not true to their words. The words said has never being seen as truthful to the kind of actions that is very much needed by mankind. Mankind needs freedom. Question is, with those types of people around, can we be really free?

p/s: I was once given the opportunity to attend a UN session at New York City and listen to speech by Dr Mahathir then Prime Minister and other few world leaders. Looking back, some (or most?) of the words are just sheer rhetoric.

Friday, October 9, 2009

Glamorous life what matters to them...

Nobody likes to be him or herself per se. Affiliated to somebody popular would make them feel alive. Life is looking sideways hoping somebody that is near you is somebody glamorous and popular. The younger generation of today constitute the majority who can easily fall prey to this so-called unkind wisdom of today's living thoughts. But that makes them alive and kicking. Unfortunately and sad to see and say, they can never be on their own in everything except when they are asleep. The moment they are awake, their thought runs wild with all the worldly fantasies. It is the glamorous life that matters to them. Till when..?

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Punishment and Reward..

Being punished and being rewarded...two principles that stares right into the face of everybody. Why not? Broadly speaking, everyday the moment we walk out into life, we are the victim of our own social and cultural inclination. And to some their political affiliation. Deep down we hate being punished especially by our own circle of friends and by the culture we born to, fed and grown into. We have to observe the norms and values that binds the members together. Worst still the hatred to another party seems to be natural if we are already a member to a political party. We have to subscribe to the political philosophy and to what they are fighting for. In life justice comes in many forms. In most instances we are being unfairly rewarded and being punished for the trivial reason of going against the established norms and values of society born to. But traditions die hard. So are the punishment and the reward.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009

The thin days ahead..

Not as is gonna to be always full and fat. Always in anticipation of big things to come. But now no more. Days are getting thinner by the day. It holds no more promise in the form of social and cultural reward. Now purely spiritual. At my game of golf yesterday, it surprises myself at my good score. Despite the thinness of the day, spiritually, I am still as good and energetic as before. For a two-hour 9 holes golf, my judgment is still intact. I can still putt from a distance of several feet from the hole. What contribute to the successful putting? Despite the thin of days, spiritually I am still stronger and very much in anticipation of good productive days ahead.

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A nightmare...

Grabbed by some kind of a force that tries to soak me to the face and a voice was heard saying it is time for me to follow another path. With all those happenings I am just disabled. Yes. It is just a day of new recruitment and a new force. Since I need that new energy, I have accepted the offer and the adventure. And tomorrow I am going to treat everybody the decorum they deserve. Happiness is the word of the day. Have to get back to my feet and I have to run a hundred meters just to say things I ought to say. I am sorry. I was not myself and now I am a new man with mission for world peace. Yesterday was just not me. Yesterday was just not my day. And today, now, I am ready.

Monday, October 5, 2009

Not of the same door..

The entire spectrum of doors are different. Can't afford to play the same game of many small doors of safe entrance and exit. It is such a simple game. Too much smiles and too much laughter. Not serious. It is going to be the big door now where it is going to be the case of now or never, today and not tomorrow. Here and now. It is of different feel and intention. And of course of different result. A productive one. It is going to be a real big jump and moving forward. No more by the same person of usual and ordinary spirit but by a person who has his whole life is at stake. It is going to be a game of only two doorways, of one entrance and one exit. Neither can be seen twice and repeated. Once entered no turning back. After that just an exit. Are you ready? Let the game begins.

Sunday, October 4, 2009

Satu atau Dua...?

Haha...dua orang ini akan bertanding dalam pilihanraya kecil pada 11 hb ni di Bagan Pinang Negeri Sembilan. Yang di sebelah kanan tunjuk satu. Dan yang bersongkok tu tunjuk dua. Baru belajar mengira ke? Apa ye di sebalik kesemua itu? Ada seribu kemungkinan mengapa begitu. Seribu? Mengapa tidak 2000 kemungkinan? Mungkin yang kanan berbangga dengan satu bini dan yang bersongkok tu pulak lantas memintas dengan kata kata `ramai yang seronok kalau kahwin dua.' Kau bilo lagi? Nak dapat satu peluang pun susah. Dia dah dapat dua peluang. Mungkin kena bayar 200 darham berbanding dengan 100 darham. Atau cari 10% dulu. 10%? 20% baru cukup. Haha. Hehe. Pada aku hidup ini ada dua pintu. Satu pintu masuk dan satu pintu keluar. Dia tunjuk satu. Mungkin dia nampak satu jalan keluar je kot? Atau nampak jalan masuk je? Sekali masuk tak akan keluar lagi. Itulah `elitist politic.' Politik orang kayo dan berstatus tinggi. Sekali kayo jangan dorhako. Haha. Sebelum kau mengundi, kau tambahlah sendiri...

It was not as it was...

..and things can never be the same. Despite the look alike of everybody and everything, avoid yourself from the old normative thought that says `there he is, he seems like yesterday.' Way back that year, that day, that moment, he is a desperate person for something he does not have. And you are his saviour then. Now, not anymore, he has lots of it. Does he care? Not this time around. I have to move on. Yes I have to move on with sincere hope that things do not change. Don't have to be that emotional. It is an opportunity to gather some strength in getting things done. It was not as it was. Or that is what it is meant to be. So look up and look forward for things can never be the same again. Ever.

Friday, October 2, 2009

`Tsunami' of calamaties and disasters..

Dalam jarak tak sampai satu hari, selepas Pulau Samoa dilanda Tsunami, Minang di Sumatera Indonesia di gegarkan pula dengan gempa bumi yang berukuran 7.6 skala rickter yang memusnahkan bangunan dan nayawa manusia. Sebelum itu, Manila, Vietnam, dan Laos di landa ribut taufan mengakibatkan banjir besar juga memusnahkan nyawa dan harta benda. Hakikatnya bencana begini adalah di luar kuasa manusia mengawalnya. Di mana jua kita berada di muka bumi kita juga tidak terkecuali. Syukur kita di Malaysia hanya gegaran kecil berlaku itu pun pada bangunan yang tinggi sahaja. Tapi dalam itu kita mesti membuat persiapan sekira gegaran yang lebih besar yang akan menimpa..Persoalannya, adakah kita akan bersedia?

Thursday, October 1, 2009

with differences...

Cycle of life, an ordinary road but now a highway. Instead of reaching a place in three hours, but now being shortened to only one hour. A small shop now turned into a giant store with conveniences of all kinds. Not to mention a lot more things that has change the landscape of physical and mental shape of everything. What could be the same despite the change? Nothing. Everybody has their own life to be proud of. The house, the car, and life style that suited his time is his own. Gone are the days of going to mid-night show of films from Hollywood, instead just contented relaxing on the sofa watching star movies or golf channel till late at night. Soon the generation that took over the cycle from the old generation would realized that life is only a cycle of the same event and activities, but of course with differences when things are replaced with new technology. Thus it is a change and it is different. As for me, life is of no difference in the sense I am still me. But to the new generation life is life with differences but remember, it is still of the same old cycle.