Sunday, May 31, 2009

Saturday, May 30, 2009

My own world...

My own world of knowledge, feel, and seeing things. It is more of a perception and at times it is a deception. But have to walk through the corridor of life here and nowhere else. So are everybody. They have their story to finish. And so am I. As one gets older, life is being seen as one's walk to an unknown place and unknown pace. Have no choice but it is the little things that we touch and say everyday that define life in its entirety now and before. But it still baffled me by the pace it takes to see something in its entirety. It is easy to see the path taken by others. It is their world. What about my world? I have my own world yet to see the conclusion. Am I too fast or too slow? The pace still baffles me. But never use others and their world as the milestone to the pace taken by you. You are with different milestones. You are your own world.

Friday, May 29, 2009

Come and go...

They come. And they go. But some come and it takes some time before they actually go. Memories come but it can never go away. So beware of bad memories that you happen to store in your subconscious. It might pop-up at awkward moment of the day and night. Some memories are so sweet to remember. But there are memories that can make a mess of your life. But all in all life is a balance of good things and bad things. It is also a balance of good people and bad people. If it is too much of one side then life seem to be of no challenge. In the beginning you might not accept things that has happened, but in the long run, what we have experienced served as a stabilizer to what we are going to face later on in life. It might be all bad and good. Nevertheless, it does come and soon it would faded and disappear not to come again in your life. What stays only memories. Strong and weak memories. And that is sweet.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Comes naturally...

Why the sadness and why the happiness? As in a tree, it grows naturally, if given a proper shade and light, truthful and honest management. Don't have to bark at trees. It would fall naturally when it is about time to fall. Don't have to say it aloud, tomorrow he would find himself a leader of an empire of ghostly people. A rich man might die a poor man. And so is a poor man would see his ending days a happier one surrounded by happy family members. The opposite of negative is positive. One has to be sure of one's position in order to make good the positive side of existence. Some, unknowingly, have been on the negative side for so long that anything negative comes naturally to them. And so is my writing. It comes naturally given the right and proper practices to that effect. I have always been on the flair side of things, so to speak. What about you? Which side have you been all this while? What comes naturally to you but not to your favour then it is time to change side. Can you?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Pushing on into a world of new dimensions..

Just like leaving a body into a new man with fresh motivations of doing things. I am leaving behind a legacy of life that has been so muddle in thought in creating a standard of good life. In the beginning seems like to be caught in the middle of staying or leaving. But it is an opportunity not to be missed especially a chance of seeing a world in the new mental state of colours, light, sound, motion, and emotion. After spinning through a frightening moment and here I am ready to face a new world, a new dimension.

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Braver by the day...

Sees world differently. Everything is within reach. Sees kindness. Sees evil trying to destroy everything along his way. Hard thought. No softness in people. Again their selfishness are well displayed by they said and done. The one-eyed man is trying to lead the way. Nobody listens anymore because they see what the one-eyed man do not see. Hate hypocrisies and those who try to destroy the very basis and fundamentals of cultured life and good living. Words are full of respect but the heart are speck with dark intention and wishing of seeing others destroyed. They are the coward ones who sees nothing but himself. We have heard the slogan of one Malaysia. But are we truly one in terms of mind, heart and soul? By right we should be braver by the day. What do we get instead? Sees slow, sees hollow.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

A loose word and a tightening of events...

What are being said before is beginning to take a shape today. Unfortunately many do not see it that way. To them what are being said today are of no meaning and being looked at it as sheer nonsense. Thus they see it as a phenomena and something that is unlikely to happen. And as for today it might be said as a slip of the tongue or an action that has the spirit as spur of the moment. Living is loose and death is tight. Healthy is loose but not with sickly and dying. Wealthy is loose and being poor is tight. It is a tightening of event that has its source in yesterday. We have seen words are being said jokingly, but the poke is hurting and bloody and the world has seen a phenomena in Hitler and Aidi Amin to name a few. That is history and so is Tsunami that has killed hundreds of thousands of people from a few countries. What have they said and done in order to deserve that? And in the similar vein how would tomorrow being shaped from what have we said and done today? It might be a loose word but it has always been a part of the tightening process....

Friday, May 22, 2009

I am no warrior in the golf field...

Everybody is a warrior for something. I was at Dungun, Terengganu on the 20th May and 21st May trying to seek the warrior spirit in me in the game of golf. The thoughts and the will are there but when come to unleashing it on the field I am no where to be among the top 30! Frustrated? Knowing I am no warrior however hard I try, golf is only a game where old friends renewed their friendship and make new ones. That should be the true spirit of playing the game. To that end, then I am a true warrior, not in the field but outside. Any body dare to play golf with me?

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

The Mysterious Golf..

Again I am trying to improve myself in golf. 20th and 21st Mei 2009 playing at Terengganu. The last time I played there was also on the 20th and 21st Mei but in 2006. Sama tarikh dan sama tempat ye..jangan jangan dengan flight member yang sama...tengoklah besok.

Sunday, May 17, 2009

Identity crisis...

I have been a lecturer for quite a long time. In all those years, what seem to bother me more and more is the identity crisis the students are facing. Confusion seem to be the right word that have been facing the students. They don't know what they want. They are just confused with a lot of things ranging from balik kampong, overslept, pptn, handphone, assignment, and friends. They seem not to have a mission in life. Do they take the opportunity to have an intelligent discussion with the lecturers? For the past few semesters, I have not seen even one student doing that. Not with me. Despite being a mediocre in learning but still unashamedly begging for a better grade. As a student they should display the skill in thinking and being argumentative in all sorts of topics. At the end of the semester what do I get? A memory of students who just want a passing grade. Do they deserve it? I have only a few more months with this profession. Only half of my time here give me a good and positive memory pertaining to student's development and teaching. What about the other half? I just don't want to remember it!

Sunday shadow..

It is a Sunday shadow. Walks in the park. The birds and the bees whizzing through trees. Winds blew in the face. Cold wind. Thoughts emptied for the sake of the beautiful scenic glacier lake. Suddenly the blazing sound of guns. A battle sound. Got shot in the head. My friend drops dead. Pity him. So young and naive in things said. Where am I? At Logger Head.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

The what..?

The what? They don't know what. Anything that comes has not been understood in depth. Thus the purpose of life has not been understood properly. The what? If only they can say for sure what, then comes the how. Unfortunately, many are loss with the very first word 'the' and don't know what then. So what is so important with the next? haha.

Friday, May 15, 2009

The Titanic Self...

Slowly it leaks and soon everything crumbles right in front of their very own eyes. Save the day by being humble and acknowledge the Greatness of Allah, the Almighty, and we shall be shown the path to righteousness. But many are locked in by the titanic exterior beauty and little did they realised small gesture of kindness matter..

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Adakah kita sudah mengenali kehidupan..?

Ke mana nak saya dibawa dengan soalan itu? Tidak ke mana selain hendak menginsafi diri akan Kebesaran Allah Subahanawataala. Hari ini, masa, ini, ketika ini, saya masih mengatakan bahawa saya baru mengerti dan mengenali kehidupan. Walhal saya juga telah mengatakan demikian pada tahun tahun yang sebelum ini. Allah Yang Maha Besar lagi Mengetahui dan itulah yang membuat saya tidak berani mengatakan yang saya sudah mengenali kehidupan. Tidak terfikir kita akan sesuatu jika sesuatu itu masih lagi belum dialami dan masih lagi menjadi rahsia Allah. We have our limitation in terms of our physical and mental self. What is beyond? Saya tidak tahu dan tidak sesiapa yang tahu kerana ilmu kita terhadap kehidupan sangat terbatas sekali. Adakah anda sudah mendabek dada dan mengatakan anda sudah mengenali kehidupan..?

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Why the cry...

Why the cry? It is a magic phrase to Menteri Besar of Perak, Mohamad Nizar. The court rules that he is the rightful person to the post of Menteri Besar of Perak. By now, Mohamad Nizar has no more tears to shed because his life seems to be like riding on a roller coaster. Everything has been dried up just because they want him out. But why the cry? Like it or not, life has all along has been with and for him. And today he has an audience with the Raja Nazrin of Perak. Why the cry. He is still riding high on the roller coaster. Is it time to stop?

Monday, May 11, 2009

Experience makes the difference

How could I feel the impact if there are similarities in the events that has happened? Yes the impact is there but it is somewhat minor in terms of the kind of chaos created. Is that what I described it as a maturity in one's life? Think so or don't think so? Despite of some bad experiences in life, the events seem to be just a repetition of what has happened in the past. Thus it cushions the fall just because the fall has been anticipated and experienced before. As I progress in life, the kind of event that feared me is anything that might happen and I have no experience in facing it. But the anticipation of such an impending event where and what I have never been before has put me into a category of a matured person. The thought itself has become an experience. Is that too would make a difference?

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Routine thought form and association...

It goes by many labels. Social and culture are among the popular terms being associated with thought form of a society or race. I would like to go beyond the understanding of culture and social to something personal. I have seen and heard a person, a teacher for example would say the same thing over and over again despite the change in age and experience. His years of being a teacher has led to the same thought form of various things that are well associated with his profession. The word `student' can unleashed an emotion to him either anger or delight. It has been like that for years. And some places could be phobic to him by just visiting a town and school where he used to teach before. Thought form and association can be a silent killer to one's mental state of mind if care is not being taken. One should get rid of any form of routine that could bring us to that scenario. One tip is that we must be mentally vigorous and creative in order to free our self from that unproductive mental state of mind. As for me, my regular exercise in order to free myself from that routine are thinking, reading, and writing, and GOLFING. Haha. How do I sound to you?

Kepada semua ibu diucapkan `Happy Mother's Day.'

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Nothing specific...

Today is Saturday. It is quite gloomy with ray of sun does not penetrate earth atmosphere. Thick clouds are hanging up there. Research has shown that one's mood is linked with the weather. What about the mood of the nation? It is link to what? The world with its ample space does not reveal much on its character. Human has been living on earth for so long but yet fail to understand the link between on thing and another. I myself for sure would love to know why I write what I have written. And today's topic has been nothing more that just expressing my narrative thought and thinking, just like the older days. It is about nothing but psychologically it is something. When nothing is something then surely it must be a source to knowledge. And I shall keep on writing to find out what and why?

Friday, May 8, 2009

I am calling for help and..

It happens again. In sleep I felt I have been disturbed and in vain trying to get help from anybody within visibility. Guess who comes to my rescue in times of need of that nature? My wife. I can feel my hand is being clenched tight just to wake me up from my sleep. Is it a dream? Is it a nightmare? Is it for real?

Thursday, May 7, 2009

When crisis deepens..

Stick to the rule of the law and see to it that any document can be of help in fighting the crisis or case. After all any activities are all governed by the rule of law of the land. Any emotional outburst in terms of doing and acting must be avoided. Just smile and do your daily chores as though nothing happens. Be a law-abiding citizen and law shall be on your side.

Rip Van Winkle..

I think I have been sleeping for so long. And at last, yesterday it has been a wake up call for me. I have been raised to a level of consciousness where the thought significance has been shifted that see others too are in the process of imprisoning and sleeping. They accidentally open up the gate of my home that makes me see things differently and freely. Or it is about time I should be awake by now for the sake of freeing myself from thought association and form that has mesmerizing me for nearly a quarter of a century. Remember, Allah Is Great that puts no limit to opportunity that can makes a person richer by the day provided change is his or her serving theme of his daily activity. Thought elimination of old association and form as a lecturer is slowly taking place now. Soon you will be completely free from all kinds of encumbrances, real or fantasy. So welcome to a new home.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009 sings a similar tune

It is a frightening moment. But I know it is coming. It is time to depart from the scene. As in the events of yesteryear, a departure is a frightening moment especially when the signals are weak and not that clear. But the bottom line is always that feel and sense of imminent loss that would soon becomes only a memory. Yes, it is going to be only in memory. Nevertheless, when it first touches on your first sense of departure, it sings a similar tune. And it is beginning to get loud and louder when the signals are no longer by the six sense but by the actual seeing and hearing and touch. Soon it is going to be a real feel away from this routine. One way or another life has to be seen from a different perspectives. I have to move on. So is everybody, the day shall come. And as for me and family, it is always for the good. An event that has the exact format of loss when my family and I were on the bus for the last time heading to LaGuardia Airport New York and taking a flight to Malaysia and never to look back. Well it is a departure of that nature I am talking about. And it sings a similar tune and I alone can hear it.

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

You don't have to tell me...

But she did. Why? Keeps me wondering of life and the time I was being told about that. Life is so wonderful not to see it in its true and ultimate form. The layering of bricks and the layering of events (episodes and drama) in life has its similarities. I am already a completed house. I can find comfort from my years of layering my pieces and now I see a beautiful house that gives me and family a shelter from turbulence outside. But I was told of something and seeing it from the layering point of view, it keeps me wondering of the impact at this time of her life. But that is life and it is an act of layering the bricks one by one.


And sometimes you might be asking when it is going to finish. Well it is all in the effort and the ethics that should be observed while doing the layering. So you have been asking me how long it is going to complete? You tell me.

Monday, May 4, 2009

It happens all the time..It is not you..

That is the name of the game, it is them only them. One recent experience that hurts me when they just don't turn in their assignment despite the repeated warning of doing so. And they just don't bother to tell me until their grades are low. They give a lot of reasons for not turning in their assignment but the damage has been done. They are hurting me. In life it is only them. What about me? As far as they are concerned you don't exist. So it can never be you when they make a contact requesting for something. If it is not you then who else? Must be them. So what shall you do when it is from them? Ignorance then is the best policy. haha. Spare the pain and just enjoy the show. Trust in your judgment.

Sunday, May 3, 2009

Trust and thrust..

The elements of trust and thrust should be the principles of knowing and sowing relationship with others. Yesterday I was faced by a kind of feel that seems to have locked me in something but don't know what. At last I was made to think that it has to do with my character and my personal behavioural characteristics when comes to trusting others. I am somewhat late in reacting to something that the thrust seem to have the element of terrorising. In other words I am not firm and decisive when comes to request of others and that might put me on the wrong side of the negotiating table. Two words that can explain my dilemma, trust and thrust. Others might come and see me and request me on something. Throughout my life, the thrust is always humanity when comes to human interaction. Thus at first it is not easy or it has been my leadership style to trust them. I have to listen. But it hurts when it transforms itself into a battlefield when the other side declares war for a very selfish reason. Caught between the devil and the sea, what thrust should be adopted in order to fight the battle and win the war?

Saturday, May 2, 2009

In deep thoughts...

What I have seen and hear all the time is no thinking. Rubbish. The moment I set my eye on somebody or something, the mind starts to find its present level of familiarity and understanding and at that same time trying to gauge the change in the the things hear and see. In other words I am doing some kind of thinking. Like it or not, my mind has been doing the scanning on all things either before or now, alive or dead, trying to come out with some kind of a new thinking scenario that has never been visited before. In the process of deep thinking, I might get in contact with all sorts of thought scenario that might be false and far from genuine or it might be real to the bones. Whatever in all those thought situations and operations, it makes me a better person in terms of heart and mind cleanser and to a some extent a soul cleanser. Thus I am spared by not indulging in playing with bad sentiment and bad blood because it is all in the name of deep thoughts. The activity seems like a ritual to one's life but again it is all in the name of deep thoughts..and the process should come naturally. Try it!

Friday, May 1, 2009

The one-eyed man is king..

That one-eyed man is in everybody, so to speak. I just rambled through on everything and some listened and some don't. Why? If you don't know you would be giving deep thoughts on the topics written. If you are in the know, then why spend time reading this and that? But a very distasteful situation when somebody who holds position and try to pass a judgment on somebody whom he has not done any background checking. That somebody might appear blind but he does not only see with two eyes but are blessed with hindsight that can forsee what is to come. So be careful of what you said to others. He might nod and smile at what you said, but deep down he is the rightful heir to the throne.Haha.

Happy labour day!