cahaya dan malaikat...

Di rasakan hari semalam berlalu sepantas cahaya. That small ray of light are small and fast faded into the dark night. It shines itself in places not of my choice but Allah assisted by angels of Allah. Allahuakbar.

indahnya ukuwah dengan datangnya Ramadan..

Sebenarnya ramai yang telah menyimpang jauh dari semangat ukuwah yang dianjurkan oleh Islam. Mereka ketawa menunjukkan gigi seperti ketawanya syaitan dan iblis yang tiba tiba masam dan bengis kerana dicelah celah kemusnahan yang berlaku ada hamba Allah yang menyeru ke arah ukuwah sesama manusia. Ramadan adalah bulan dalam Islam di mana terjelmanya semangat ukuwah  sesama manusia di seluruh dunia. Dikala beginilah syaitan dan iblis di rantai bagi memudahkan umat Islam beribadat bagi mengenal hati budi yang melebihi perasaan tamak dan dengki. Semoga dipermudahkan ibadah kepada Mu, Ya Allah. Allahuakbar.

lost world of senses...?

Slowly my senses are in disarray. Anyway, a man of my age should have free access to what I feel and it is right at that particular time. That weekend sense has lost its border mark and its historical impact of appeals. So are a lot of things that no longer bind. Don't really care about TV programs and what is to come next. Take it as it comes. And so be it with what is happening to this world.

What? I don't lose my senses? Your senses have just been uplifted to a level of  new greater height and more power.

Whom I am talking to now? Wallahualam.

 Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa. Allahuakbar.

first layer knowledge...

World of layers and and are you stuck or free from all layers? And  I am surrounded by individuals of only first layer and they ought to be feared. Why? Their decisions and actions are quick-based and jumpy and anger is easily released. Semoga kita berbanyak sabar. Allahuakbar.

the way it is...

Can't really see straight in terms of thoughts, decisions, and actions. Variables are many and varied. I am still still seeking Allah's help in seeing my wish comes true. Allah the Al-Mighty, the Knows-All. Allahuakbar.

the seriousness of life...

It is the death that makes life meaningful. Without death life is just life without anything to look forward to. But of course life is heavy when it ought to be felt as heavy. Right now I am just experiencing a light moment despite my age and my commitment as if I am just being born to this world. Allah is Great that creates Nothing and Something. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

bila aku menulis...

Sedang mencari rahsia terhadap apa yang ditulis. Dulu ada aku mengatakan bahawa aku boleh mendengar apa yang dicakapkan dalam otak aku. Memang benar. Sekarang ini aku hanya melayan apa yang aku dengar. Dan yang anihnya, apa yang diperkatakan oleh otak ada kaitan dengan topik apa yang pada mula hendak dtulis. Jadi dengan adanya tulisan yang ditulis , iany merupakan jawapan kepada apa yang telah ditanya. I am just a man  with a singing brain. And my brain picks the cue of the topic and the deliberation has been very automatic. That leads to the question, who am I? I am just a man who possessed the talking mind that writes. Wallhualam. Allahuakbar.

mungkin...

Realiti hidup mungkin tidak ada noktahnya jika kesemuanya diasaskan oleh kemungkinan.  Mungkin marah, mungkin, suka, mungkin riak, mungkin bodoh, mungkin sengaja, mungkin sedar, mungkin, mungkin, mungkin. Mengapa saya menepati janji dengan menulis ini semua dalam blog ini? Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

Ringankan beban...

Masa berlalu dengan Segala KetentuanNYA.Tidak ada satu pun yang terkeluar dari PerancanganNYA. Jika hendak berlakunya di sini maka berlakulah ia. Kebesaran dalam konteks Kekuasaan terhadap Segala-GalaNya - dilewati dan tidak dilewati, disentuh dan tidah disentuhi, yang ghaib dan yang tidak, yang faham dan terakam, yang tidak mampu akal mentafsirnya - Sesungguhnya Allah yang Maha Berkuasa Ke Atas Segala-galaNya. Allahuakbar.

Off-limits, trust and confidence...

So it has been decided...try to learn to stay away...so that he can have full independence on something he has been doing...Semoga diperhitung hidup ini dalam Kebesaran Mu, Ya Alllah. Allahuakbar.

life at a stand still...

The hours moved slowly, and I am still here. Trying to solve problems of yesteryears. It is not my problems but theirs.  As far as I am concerned, my life is almost perfect to the point of being able to see today. Perfect? Relatively speaking.What about the hours? I do not wait anymore. Some just by being angry the problems are solved. Segala Ketentuan adalah dari Allah. Allahuakbar.

bila berdiri...

Bila berdiri terasa tenaga diberi. Bila duduk di kerusi, hati terlerai mati, mengunyah perkataan yang ditulis tiada berhenti.. Perlu pergi bercuti dan berjalan jauh ke negara orang bagi memperkasakan lagi hati dan diri...Semoga Allah menambah rezeki. Allahuakbar.

off limits..trust and confidence..

So it has been decided...try to learn to stay away...so that he can have full independence on something he has been doing...Semoga diperhitung hidup ini dalam Kebesaran Mu, Ya Alllah. Allahuakbar.

no time limit...

Sense of time-limit is with everybody. Eliminate that sense in time limit and makes it off-limit and you will see the equality and opportunities for everybody, all things, and all places. When comes to power and wealth, let there be no time limit set. The true journey begins the moment the brains and the mind are set to conquer. Allahuakbar.

what puzzles...

Either near or far, neither here, now, or much much later into old ages, can be him or her from nowhere, at a point in time it meets for reason and reasons. Is that not puzzling? Allahuakbar.

I am just what I am...

Does not really feel the decisions. Does not really feel the actions. My actual energy has not been that much in usage. Could that be the reason I am bestowed with mental energy that feel no strain in choosing the hours to start and end a journey? Penuh Kesyukuran. Allahuakbar.

worth millions...

That is what I feel. I am up by many many points. just have to write about it. Can feel the surge in the flow of my blood to all nooks and corners of my body. It is no joke. The feel is mine. And I know when it comes to the rescue  of the remorse feel i experienced lately. I am a new man, with vigor and strength  never felt before. Allahuakbar.

mesmerized or hypnotized..?

mesmerized or hypnotized..? A saddening state of mental receptivity found in my brain that creeps into the formation of mind thinking, mental gap, and mental memory. On many occasions, pasts, here, and now..I have been hypnotized..have I? First, I should talk about the background..but why I am being wiped out to that urgency and priority? Menerima Segala Keredhaan dan KetentuanNYA. Allahuakbar.

only the blood shows it...

My obsession of something is shown in my blood, not in the actions, and not in the decisions. As a matter of fact, decisions and actions come by itself. Only the flow of the blood is being felt. So when I love something it shows in my blood. Thinking, writing, ideas , and opinions, all have been written in blood. And blood spills. And when it spills on somebody's face, I have been labeled as temperamental, arrogant and heartless. Am I? Hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

My mental terrain has been disturbed...

My well-guarded mental terrain of mind, and yesterday it was being ambushed by heartless persons who looked upon the world as maintaining image that are of no value when comes to dying and death. Hanya Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

the slaying of my creativity..

When an attempt is being made to slash and burn my creativity, I would definitely make a jump and rise above everybody. I have no more smiles to give. No more stories and jokes to tell. And I am no more in a hurry. I come without telling and I leave without smiling. No more pictures taken of me. I have had enough of memories, and in silence it keeps me busy. No more and nothing to look forward to. I shall be growing trees of heaven full of leaves, flowers and fruits. I only smile when all my trees bear fruits as delicious as fruits in heaven. Allah the Al-Mighty, the Knows All. Allahuakbar.

discovering the ingredients to the slaying of my spirit and my heart...

It completes my effort and all the `waits and sees' has lost its wings and I am truly on my own. I have said it. I have make myself known. I have nothing in me that tend to hold me back. But this time I am not just doing the walking but also feel like flying. I am now I can afford to leave everything behind. And in so many things I can live and part with all the so-called worldly problems. And it is all with the blessings of Allah the Al-Mighty. Allahuakbar.

bleeds easily..

Their problems are real to the skin and heart. It bleeds easily...So take care.. Allahuakbar.

where i am..? It is just the spot where you are..

Everybody has a share of asking where they are. Despite the so-called leading a high-life, the low-life and low feel would soon come on him and she. At the end of the day, I am somewhere and so are they.  How could I am here especially when the `here' is without nobody and anybody. I am appeased when knowing `where I am is the spot where everybody is. And a thought would be playing in him or her, asking when all these would be gone forever? Kepada Allah kita datang, kepada Allah kita dikembalikan. Allahuakbar.

seemingly simple and neutral..

By nature, our mind is neutral to the smallest cell and molecule. But mind can be a monster of being a great follower and a great leader. Within these two giants of impression and depression, we are being perceptually and perpetually placed to a position of seeing nothing great and feel nothing great. What more writing and understanding the simplest of social values of being in contact and in being intact. Ya Allah Ya Tuhan Ku, hanya kepada Mu saya menyerah. Hanya daripada Mu saya memohon Kekuatan, Pengetahuan, Kekayaan, dan Perlindungan. Allahuakbar.

tak kena dan bukan masa?

Great things happen just because others say as not right, not appropriate and not the day. What's most frustrating is when others say it can never be from you. Great inventions and great creativities and productivities are all examples of others are saying not right and far from the truth. All in all it turns out to be right all along. After all scarcity is the basis to all good things. Still not believing in yourself? My knowledge should well before others. Hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

dreams that saw the past..

A conclusion before the story - I have been wrongly advised! How could everything leave it to the scholarships. I just have to wait for my scholarship for the bills haven't paid! That is the advice despite I can afford it. Why should I wait for that money? This attitude still being upheld by those who sees `scholarships' as the savior to their so-called endeavor. And today the majority is experiencing the `dream' in brim'. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa dan segala Petunjuk adalah untuk kehidupan mengarah kepada kebebasan dari sebarang pemikiran dan tindakan yang ada unsur jahiliah. Allahuakbar.

terasa terburai...

Dirasakan tidak tersambung buat semua dan segala-galanya. Di celah kereta aku mencelah, dalam keadaan bersendirian, apa jua akan berlaku. Mungkin aku akan rebah tersungkur, sendirian, tiada siapa yang tahu. Dirasakan hendak buang jauh jauh rasa hubungan sesama manusia. Adakah faktor umur membuat aku begini? Tidak mustahil. Tetapi yang jelas saya masih ada kawan dalam menulis sesuatu. Allah telah menganugerah kepada aku kebolehan yang boleh dianggap oleh umum sebagai luar biasa. Tetapi aku tidak merasanya begitu. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa. Ketentuan adalah HakNYA. Allahuakbar.

just not in the kind of mood...

In being a productive individual, just feel not in the kind of mood for productive undoing of jobs I am responsible for. Everything seems to be clipped leaving me without the help of that supporting pair. But despite the feel of the handicapping of all sorts, personal and non-personal, an unleashed of energy seems to be released from an unknown source. Keeping everything at bay, a sensational touch from the Al-Mighty is felt. Ya Allah Ya Tuhan Ku, berilah hamba MU Kekuatan, Kekayaan, dan Pertolongan. Allahuakbar.

unfamiliar terrain...

In sounds, in sights, places and time, I am a different person. But I am always on the high alert to someone who wants me to hear to their familiar stories. Disgusting. But it is good to be aware of it. And there is a point in time I have to change it. Try to disconnect myself from familiar faces and familiar stories. Coz it could be a trap to unfold my weaknesses. So for a change, try also to be familiar with all the unfamiliar....and regain your strength. Kepada Allah dipohon Pertolongan dan Perlindungan. Semoga sentiasa dalam Keberkatan Mu, Ya Allah. Allahuakbar.

depend and defend...

Yes, I have to defend myself. Yes, I am depending on myself when comes to attack and assault of various kinds and forms and from various corners. Today's event can be an example where the debit in others can be a credit to me. Why it must be so? The source, as I have said, are events that have happen to me long time ago. Why should I must be grateful to somebody who has showed me kindness and appreciation? My life begins with a clear case of nothingness and the desired timely of appreciation. In pain and in hunger I am not cared as I wanted to. Even when comes to my real first taste of success, I am very much a lonely person in a foreign land. Thus despite my skills and abilities, that sense of hollowness is still there in me. I just can't sense the harsh realities of mockeries from others. I am still plain me - Hamdan Hassan. Hanya kepada Allah saya sangat bersyukur di atas kepenuhan pada tempat pada mulanya kosong. Allahuakbar.