death promises no straight path?

It appears messy. Don't feel like going to sleep. Or I have had slept enough during the day? Anger is part of that line which is not straight. Expectation of great things to come but don't mind on what is coming. Supposedly life is moving forward. But there are things which brings back the past. Do I need it? What actually do I need? Thinking of my older brother who died on the 22nd February 2016 and what a mess life and death can be. All the senses of direction has been haywire. Soon everything is just like waking up from sleep. It is gone and another day has to face. But sense of uneasiness creeps when some event keeps pulling and pushing. I should not be there. It is all over. But they don't live in your dimensional world. They are just them. And so are yours. And where is the presumed straight line? Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.