deep seats...?

Most of the time I took a back seat, mentally. Almost in everything? But if mind goes unchecked, it tilted, unbalanced and tend to play a dirty game for reasons least understood at that time. Preferably a back seat to front seat. Why? And worst still the back seat phenomenal has become deep seated that can make life miserable and aimless.  Am I married to one? Or am I born to members of family who has this kind of mind `syndrome'? Or is it just a momentary attitude? A married partner is a partner of active thoughts and actions. So are members of the family, especially the closed ones. A collective mental set might dictate the path taken, one after the other. Despite the strength I possess, there are times I have been in a situation not believing in something I really can. Ada masa tidak mempercayai nasi sudah terhidang di atas meja untuk saya menikmatinya !!  Not this time. Kepada Allah saya memohon Petunjuk dan Hidayah. Saya memohon Keampunan dan Kekuatan. Allahuakbar.