so sweet...

UiTM Golf Tournment at Golf Club Bera

Having dinner with wife, mother, brothers, sisters, son and in-laws, grandchildren and other family members

Amy, grand daughter 2 year-old, teasing me her grandpa

ready for a golf tee-off

It is a rare thing. But it does happen once in a while. It is about yesterday. What about yesterday? It is a day when the mood has been so sweet that makes me smile till I went to bed. Life can be richer with smiles of faces of friends and smiles of family members. And yesterday it was just that. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

reset from inside...

The reset always occurs from the inside of me, and not from those who are from outside. One can never be that revolutionary to reset things, so to speak. It evolves as it does happen to me few hours ago. I am struck that instant, and it changes my view point and my basic fear. Nevertheless, the shift has been somewhat slow. If ever there is fear, the cause is from inside and not from those who are outside. The quake is from the crater and the cradle of a mountain. To a passer by, things has always been beautiful till it erupts and the scenery can never be the same again. Allahuakbar.

don't worry, there is always...

I don't have to worry. There is always a theory to anything, something, and somebody. Life can become neat and tidy because of the theory. It is just like a broom, it cleans up the mess caused by uncertainties and doubts. Allah is great. Allahuakbar.

a small word, a short writing, a strong inspiration...

From me, to me, and by me. Is it for me too? Not that many appreciate what one person is doing or has been doing. What more things pertain to write and writing. I am just alone in things I wrote and in things I write. Is that what life is all about? And in the same breadth, is that what death is about? Is it not, being alone has been very much a big part of one's life and very much so in one's death? Allahuakbar.

When it does happen...

Initially, thoughts can be haywire. Socially, culturally, personally, and all implications of dreams to reality shall be in placed and put to function before it tends to be displaced and replaced again for an unknown destination. It can occur in a short time or it takes much time longer. But it can also reset a reality back to a dream situation. Thus for a moment it can be a very sorry and regrettable case. But remember, to win a war, a battle after battle has to be fought and won over. But if it is already past the time, there is no turning back. A strategy might just don't work. And a declared war can be a guerrilla warfare. It can be very costly. Whatever, the effort and the event thus far, is it sustainable? Some would be seen as just touch and go situation. And others are just with an unbelievable expression, I make it! Have I? Atas Segala-Galanya, kepada Allah saya berserah dan bersyukur. Allahuakbar.

trying to tell me something..?

I have power, but I don't behave like one.  I have words, am I wasting it?  I have doubts and delusions and got to make a stand. Feel don't have the energy for what I am doing now. Have I been channeling it for a wrong cause and for a wrong person and for a wrong reason? Have I? Is it time for me to make a bold move and take the giant steps? Kepada Allah saya memohon pertolongan, taufik dan hidayah. Allahuakbar.

in the mental sense...getting to know me..

 Braving the feel, the wants and the words...

In the physical sense, I am an old man. I am old in the eyes who sees me. But to me, I am very much a man in the mental sense. That is how I see and feel about myself. I am the beholder. I am the one who feels it. The issue is, I am living in the world of physical sense, socially and culturally. Socially, I am a displaced person. Culturally, I am a also a displaced person. Not once I have been treated squarely, not anymore. Every time it is by the side affair. Always by the side, by the steps, by chance, and by accident. Why not they come to my office and talk squarely  to me about what they want and about their problem? Who am I? Socially and culturally, I am an old man. Wonder when and where I would be treated squarely again? To Allah, everybody is at the center of creations, and all being treated squarely be it in the physical sense or in the mental sense. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

making it happen...

Each steps I take, the result is none other than trying to make it happen. If it does happen the manner it should happen, Alhamdullilah. But why far from the feel I am the one who causes it? Am I in control? In real steps it is  none other than my steps. But eventually, I feel I don't belong.  Do I in any way contributes to that scenario of success?  Kepada Allah saya menyerah dan memohon keampunan. Allahuakbar.

What am I doing here?

I have been asking this question lots of times. Too many. The answer has been nothing if asked by minute and by day, can be mystique by month and by year, and divine by life to life and no life. And now by word to word and by topic to topic. The appropriate question to that, what am I writing about? And mercilessly, it can take a sudden turn from being something to something. And it is unfortunate when a friend turns out to be no friend after all. And the change can be instant! What a display in self arrogance and life indeed is an ignorance. 

What I am doing here? Too often I am made to understand not to understand. It is very much like leaving a game in the midst of neither winning nor losing. Well it does look like winning the moment I turn to Allah for everything that comes and goes. Just pick and choose. And the story comes handy in its true self, color, and form. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

Lights off...

It is not lights off, it is a blackout. For a few hours, everything is in the dark. Despite the greatness in technology, human can always find themselves in an error making situation. They did. and they still do. They are not perfect. They make mistakes. A blackout. Who is to be blamed? Sesungguhnya Allah is Great. Pohonlah Taufik dan Hidayah. Allahuakbar.

they called it...

Self-actualization?

where it begins..

the act of self-actualization. What is that? Has it not been the center to what I have been doing all this while? It does look like a destination to me,  my destination. Destined to be at that place, the place that has been top most place my life can be and want to be. Does it resembles a pyramid to the pharaoh? Surely it does not have the structure that resembles the Tun Mahathir KLCC's. The grandiose is not in the height and the dollar value but something that reflects Islam that i feel is just beside and inside me. Allahuakbar.

sharing...

The mind

The heart and the soul

It must be well distributed among the three elements of consciousness - the mind, the heart, and the soul. Well placed and felt, but might not be so in the eyes of the beholder. Thus at all times the three shall be well synchronized befitting the work done. It should be well looked and understood as a truly and genuine sharing process of life per se. Management and to manage is essentially the work of the mind. Implementing it is the work of the heart. And sustaining it is very much the function of the soul. We can easily get bored with things that seems to be repeating. This is because boredom is not made of soul but of mind and heart. And most of the time the heart tends to override the logic of the mind. But with the consciousness of the soul, each minute of being awake is putting ourself to the Greatness of Allah. Allahuakbar.

a small one...?

Allahuakbar. Allah is Great. To others it might be just a small gesture that has been described as nothing. Allahuakbar. But to me, It strikes right at the center of reason that breaks all delusions. It struck hard. And it can be a destroyer. But it is not. It is an act of unity to what I am. Allahuakbar.

braving the earth, the sun, the moon...and the people..

The moon,  the sun, the earth, and the people. Just the four? But it takes a long time to have it all linked to the mind, heart, and soul. Once it has been successfully attached to each other, the wonder world becomes one. It cuts across all continents, all rivers, all seas, all mountains, and all people. And all the planets and the galaxies. And to this very minute and to this very second.  Fast and quick. That sense of Greatness. Allahuakbar.

bersalut..

Beware of feelings without words to express. Beware of feeling without words to write. Those feelings are well stuck to grounds that could not easily be uprooted. It is truly a feel of terrorist and terrorism, so to speak. In short, all smiles are genuine to the heart and not the mind. The two are well separated from each other. What could coordinates the two is a good soul well purified by the words of Al-Quran. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

nak mengenal orang dan siapa dia...

Banyak benda kena di perhati dan diteliti. Dia menulis ke? Kalau menulis, apa yang di tulis. Dan tengok juga sama ada apa yang ditulis itu panjang atau pendek. Penulisan merupakan makanan rohani peringkat kesedaran yang halus dan paling tinggi. Orang begini susah nak kita baca dan selalu disalah tafsir.

Kedua, kalau hendak mengenal orang lain, tengok apa yang dia cakapkan hari hari. Ada yang sangat susah mengeluarkan  butir ulas perkataan. Bisu ke? Atau hati di salut perasaan tidak berperkataan. Orang begini halus juga perasaan tetapi halus dia menakutkan dan menyeramkan. Silap silap mereka beginilah dikata sebagai makluk halus! Tidak berperkataan dan tidak berperikemanusiaan. Not sociable. Not available. Not accessible.

Ketiga, tengok apa yang di buat. Ada yang menampakkan kesusahan mendampingi orang lain. Dia dengan diri dia sahaja. Islam menyuruh  kita senyum kerana ianya merupakan sedekah. Tetapi ramai yang tidak berbuat begitu. Sebebanarnya ramai tidak mengenal diri mereka sendiri.. Mereka ketandusan idea dalam melakukan sesuatu. Lantas segala perbuatan adalah ikut-ikutan. Mereka tidak merupakan seorang pencetus.

Keempat, tengok...he or she loves to play with numbers. What kind or what type of a man or a woman she or he is..?

Kelima, cuba faham...

Walauapapun, walauberapapun, kepada Allah kita berserah dan memohon keampunan. Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Kita pohon taufik dan hidayat.

Allahuakbar.

berani, bersendirian...

Ada yang tidak. So much on their own in terms of accumulation that does not accumulate. There is an aura of leadership in those who walk about, write and  talk freely on something. They lead. There is nothing to next. But there is next to nothing. Can also be next to next, nothing to nothing. Thus the formula can be like this: 0 = 0, 1 = 1, 1=0,  0 = 1. Allahuakbar.

Thin and well separated...

It does not accumulate. Even money can't help. It does not accumulate as we wish it to be. It has the tendency of making things thinner everyday. Why can't things be glued together and making life a satisfying whole? So easy to ask. But when comes to the answer, a consciousness can be so late. Before you know it life can be a devil hot. Ya Allah hamba Mu memohon petunjuk dalam memisahkan yang batil dari yang hak. Sesungguhnya Ya Allah kepada Mu hamba memohon pertolongan dan berserah. Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

Do they care..?

It shall be answered when the time comes. Well, that question is well fitted with the old world of mine. In this new world of injustice, caring is the least word that shall be said and cared for. It can be a word of fake and phony. Just be direct and life shall be lifted to a new height and in fuller dimension of everything. Can we? Allahuakbar.

baru....

Bermula 20 Mach 2013, saya akan melalui fasa fikir dan tumpuan yang berbeza dari apa yang telah dilalui selama ini. Saya akan melalui fasa hidup yang mana saya akan diuji dengan ketabahan dan komitmen yang berbeza. Suasana keterbukaan merupakan tema laluan katanya. Apakah sebenarnya kehidupan selepas tarikh itu? Hanya kepada Allah saya memohon perlindungan, kekuatan, taufik dan hidayat. Allahuakbar.

entering into a new day...

Entering into a new day could be humbled by the full force of law and order. But I am not that type of person who looks upon courts, rules, and laws for solutions.  Entering into a new day, I am humbled by the sheer wind that blows into my face,  by the sheer sound of birds and bees. And for those who live by the sea, the sheer sound of the waves pounding onto the shore would make them realize Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

entrances and exits...

Sifat sifar? Before it all..1973

After it all..Sifar ke lagi? 2013

What are the secret in all the exits and the secret in all the entrances? I have been made to know of my first entrance to this world, and shudder at the thought of when I would be making my last exit. In between it has been entrances and exits. Has it all being understood? And underlying all those exits and entrances, the yet to understand the what, where, who, why, and the how. Does it tells all? Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allah Menguasai All the Entrances and All the Exits and All the Reasons. Mohonlah kedayaan dan keupayaan dari Allah bagi memahaminya. Allahuakbar.

neither choked nor swallowed...

Neither shocked nor remembered. It is the latest bliss of my consciousness. Neither pain nor shocked of what happened. Just like being pricked by a needle. Painful? Just a tiny sense of blood. Neither happy nor anger. Neither regret nor sorry. A bliss? It still held on its own in one piece, intact and strong, piercing the wind in the morning. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

selangkah, selaku, seliku...

Selangkah kedepan dalam menuju hala tuju yang baru, merupakan seliku episod perjalanan kehidupan dengan cabarannya yang tersendiri. There is always a challenge in the small step we take forward. Allah is Great. A step taken can be the beginning of good life and new era, an episode that has never been felt before. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-Galanya. Kepada Mu Ya Allah hamba memohon pertolongan, taufik dan hidayat dalam mengharungi selangkah itu. Sesungguhnya Penentuan seliku adalah dalam Penentuan Mu, Ya Allah. Allahuakbar.

the route...

The Path and the Route to Lahad Datu

Not an easy path to take..

The very word route can be linked to  historical traveler in Ibnu Batuta and Marco Polo among the few i can think of. As for Marco Polo, the well known silk route is well associated to him. Putting on a modern map, automatically it turns out all life is a journey of a type and a kind, and can be mystical and historical, and whatever, you name it, good and bad. I am also a man of my own route and path. Is it fated or is it created?  What name can I give to my path and route? The path I have taken is the result of the birth of me to my only mother and only father. Have they too been a traveler of one kind and type? Everybody is. Nobody is  without a path and a route. Allah is Great. In Allah stores the knowledge in every path taken and created. Allahuakbar.

the cloning...

The statement sounds cloning at its best. So are his speeches, a clone at its worst level. Students are the worst cloner of everything. With no proper guidance of innovativeness, we shall see destruction in our social, culture, and economic fabrics. Thus we must be quick and act fast. The issue is, has the cloning process is getting out of hand? Where is the dynamism? Kepada Allah kita memohon taufik dan hidayah. Allahuakbar.

`path taken together'..

Despite the distance in time and place, it still lingers in the remark `path taken together'. It should not be overlooked. There is the power in itself.  Thus any group, where and when they might be, can be very energetic if it is being looked, see, and act as such. Nevertheless, without the proper consciousness, the group can also be destructive. The issue is that they don't see the power being transferred from them to the individual and in similar breadth from the individual to them. Thus a negative routine thought would spark nothing. A positive and innovative thought would spark something. Allahuakbar.

in the true spirit of strength...

Facing the unknown of what is to come is truly a test of true strength.  For a very long time I have not felt this life `threatening situation'. But this time it comes with a big difference. It strips off all the covers of strength to a consciousness of death after life and everything that shall be left behind. Ya Allah, berilah hamba Mu ini kekuatan dalam menghadapi Ketetapan dan Ketentuan Mu. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNya. Allahuakbar.

I see and sense the one...

All this time I am somewhat living in a world of many dreams and dimensions. A picture is a story of many pictures and stories. So are faces of students with full of make-up stories of happiness that comes wholly from my side of thoughts reflects by the cracking of my jokes. Now I am seeing only one story that has to do with one life and one breath at a time, and one hope that is to make good of what is coming in tomorrow. Their faces reveal a true concern of pass and failure, poor and riches and everything that spells their true sincerity in the heart and soul. Allahuakbar.

even out the odd...

Odd days but being even out  by gathering of family members and life has been marvelous. Odd individuals but with the right thought all things can be even. First of March 2013. Allahuakbar.