why those feel...?

Losing? Hate that feeling. But I feel I am being surrounded by an unkind, unseen, unsung, and `unheroic' memories. I am asking. I know fully well what the answers would be. I have been cheated. But why the feel of just being taken over spiritually? So easy? Then why I am still asking? I am doing the calculation. But it adds to the same figures. Am I losing something? Or am I gaining a lot of things? Still can't figure out what. Allah is Great. Great things would come. And evil would disappear. Faith in Allah. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.