tomorrow is 1 January 2014...

....and tomorrow is first of January 2014. Looking back all those years, life has been kind to me despite the uncertainties of path to be taken in the beginning. Syukur saya kepada Allah Yang Maha Besar lagi Mengetahui akan segala Rahsia kejadianNya.

Allahuakbar.

sharing..?

The first thought that strikes me the instance I woke up signifying the Greatness of Allah. It defines and it is definite in the sense that the consciousness is strictly mine. It defines what I can and what I can't. It defines the truly whole me, who I am, and what I am capable of. Whatever forms it takes of the consciousness are strictly mine. All the senses have been actively activated and thus make this writing possible. Something have been thrown out into the universe be-spelling the act of `sharing' to another consciousness of different forms and shapes. Is it an act of sharing? Allahuakbar.

Anugerah..

Tidak ada keajaiban pada muka manusia. Sama sahaja. Kesemua mereka mempunyai hanya satu lapisan peluang dalam segala-galanya. Tidak dua dan tidak tiga. Apa dia lapisan yang satu itu? Mudah. Kalau tidak hidup, mati. Tidak mengira pangkat dan darjat. Tidak mengira muda dan tua. Tidak mengira lelaki dan perempuan. Tidak mengira bodoh dan cerdik. Sama sahaja. Tidak mengira tempat dan masa.

Tetapi malang sekali, ramai telah dirosakkan dengan palitan pengaruh duniawi yang tidak henti henti asakan nya. Yang satu lapisan itu telah menjadi ribuan kepuraan dan kepalsuan. Firaun bermegah dengan binaan piramid melambangkan pangkat dan darjat. Apakah ia berpanjangan? Hidup tetap dengan noktahnya, mati.

Tidak terkecuali dengan kisah kisah di zaman ini. Ada saat dan ketika, saya juga tidak terkecuali dari menjadi mangsa pengaruh itu. Ada kala saya meragui sesuatu di atas dasar palitan pengaruh duniawi yang bukan bukan. Sedangkan dengan jelas segala gala yang tercipta adalah anugerah dari Allah.

Apa tidakkah disedari saya masih hidup, bernafas dan masih lagi bernyawa dan dapat lagi menulis sesuatu di pagi Ahad ini? Adakah ianya satu anugerah? Janganlah berhenti mengucapkan banyak kesyukuran kepada Allah. Mengapa perlu kita berdusta? Semoga kita sentiasa dalam PerlindunganNYA.

ALLAHUAKBAR.

thinking straight..?

It has been nobody's business to think straight. I don't. Do you? The fear is real. But it has been nobody's business to know what is real and what is not. I don't.
I am no part to what is actually real. Am I real? Ask anybody. They talk about fairness, but they don't really see others as part of that fairness. They talk about success. But most of the time the word success has been selfishly defined. So is the barber. Despite the money we give them, the barber forgets whose hair they have been cutting. So are all the leaders. So are all the followers. The leaders forget who and why they lead. The followers forget whom they have been following. Nobody seems real. That is what reality is all about. I am just me, doing fine with what I have been doing all this while. That is real. What about you?

Allahuakbar.

Tsunami...

Rain drop keeps falling on my head. It falls everyday telling me to write something or whatever I can write about. Well, I have decided to see the world in a more old-fashioned way and touch on our common, humble, unique, and heroic sensitivities that define the sorrow and happiness of our existence.

Yesterday night I was watching `The Impossible', a story on Tsunami that happened in December 2004. The story was based on a true story of a tourist family in Thailand caught in the destruction and chaotic aftermath of the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami. Life and its uncertainties. It could be anywhere, anytime. And it could happened to anybody. A well linked family members can be instantly snapped away from each other after tsunami has thrown each and everyone of them into a world of desolation, sorrow and pain. But with persistence and belief, the family members were united.

Sesungguhnya Allah Maha Berkuasa Lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNya. Sebarang ujian yang menimpa, dengan ketabahan dan kesabaran, Allah akan mempertemukan cahaya selepas bergelut dengan perasaan kehampaan buat seketika.

Allahuakbar. 

Satu akal...

Hari ini saya telah disedarkan apa yang dimaksudkan dengan satu akal. Boleh dimengertikan sebagai satu cara dan gaya hidup yang sama. Tidak menyedari bahawa kebebasan hidup tidak hanya berpaksikan kepada satu akal, tetapi berlandaskan kepelbagaian sudut, perspektif, strategi yang boleh mencorak hidup yang lebih progresif dan lebih bertamaddun. Semoga dengan kesedaran ini terjana sejuta cara yang menghilangkan seberapa banyak duka. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

It is quite different now...

The basis for anything is not that many now. It is a straightforward case. Not so much thinking goes into it. This is because what has been submerged before has emerged into something more meaningful. I am very much a free man now. Not in the narrowest of the words but in the widest sense that touches `all corners' of the universe. In Allah I seek refuge from evils that try to destroy the straight path laid for me. Allahuakbar.

what the smiles are all about...

When you are sick do you smile? Well, it is very logical if you don't. But even in sickness one can smile more often than when he is not. Could there be a reason as to why we don't smile? Ask him or her why the smile? The response could be just another smile...Allahuakbar.

independence or dependence...

Are we so dependent on what our weaknesses are? That is what it seems to be. All those postures are very much cultured-based. It appears they are just doing their best at acting - acting their way out. Out to where? Just can't say it. I might be wrong. Hanya Allah sahaja Yang Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

antics...

Some thoughts can be categorized as `antics'. The intention is good, but soon the aura of what was before and old begins to emerge. I was often perceptually misplaced in most situation of contacts, relationships, opinions, and  activities, especially as to what has happened in the past, long long time ago. Of course, there are few who can be very intuitive and emphatic. But back then in those days, I was that kind of person who can so easily injected and infected. But not now. But I am conscious of the fact I have to face it everyday now, antics or no antics. Despite I am free to choose, the recurrences of antics could still be found here and there, or either when I am with him or her or `her' or with `anybody' for that matter. In other words, what they perceive of me is, `I was what I am', or `I am what I was'. What happened to `I am what I am?' Hopefully what I write is not a reflection of those `antics'. I am what I am. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

remembered best...

Just love to know how I am being remembered. Am I? Yes you are remembered, but could only by an element in you or in a situation of extreme cases that you might or might not be conscious of. Haha..if that is the case, what about those who have not seen or talk to me for that matter? Well, psychologist have made a research, if they notice an element in you just like them (either represented by what you write or how you look) then you shall be remembered. It could be something to share especially in extreme cases of happiness and sadness. If it is something in the middle, then you are just nowhere in their memory because you have never been part of their dream. Does that matter to you if you are not remembered?  What matters most how Allah remembers me. But how? Allah Knows All. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

perception..the sixthe sense

You could be right and you could be wrong. If a man lies dead, sense of smell of the corpse would just prove that. Supposedly the real one would be the real truth. 

Not necessarily with society at large on almost on everything.To prove an opinion, would need a sixth sense, that is a sense of different kind that is perception. Perception does not emits smell, or for that matter it does emit anything. But with right strategy and right tactics, an opinion can smell bad, it stinks. It could create a false sense of security in the name of belief. And in some instances it could be perceived as truth. 

Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa  dan Ketentuan SebenarNya adalah Hak Allah Pencipta Alam Semesta. Allahuakbar.

di sebalik kata-kata...life indeed is a game...

Suka dan marah mungkin melewati pengertian yang diungkapkan. Sayang boleh diertikan sebagai hanya sayang. Kita marah kerana tidak ada cara menyampaikan sesuatu maksud. Mungkin jalan yang paling mudah adalah dengan memarahi sahaja orang tersebut.

Situasi yang spesifik khusus untuk diri jarang dimengerti. It takes one-to-one situation to understand it all. Kita mungkin menyampah dengan perlakuan yang tidak bersungguh-sungguh. Tetapi mungkin perasaan malu yang sangat menebal menyebabkan wajah tidak tersenyum apa lagi ketawa. Mungkin kita marah tetapi pada hakikatnya kita menyukainya.

Hanya Allah Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

angkuh...

Kehidupan tidak mengizinkan kita angkuh. Dalam sedar atau tidak, ianya mungkin cetusan dari kata-kata, keputusan, dan perbuatan. Apa jua `kemenangan' yang dikecapi, ianya hanya bersifat semantara. Air sungai boleh mengubah segala-galanya. Laut boleh meranapkan segala-galanya. Berlakunya bencana samaada yang dekat dengan kita, mahupun yang jauh, dulu dan sekarang, boleh dijadikan contoh dan tauladan. Ianya telah memutuskan, merobohkan dan memberhentikan segala keseronokkan duniawi dalam sekelip mata sahaja. Umur seseorang dan kematian sudah pasti merupakan faktor di mana ianya di luar jangkauan manusia untuk memikir dan mengawalnya. Ianya pasti berlaku kepada setiap yang bernyawa. Allah sahaja yang Kekal. Kepada Allah kita berserah, memohon pertolongan, perlindungan, taufik dan hidayah dalam menghadapi kehidupan ini. Allahuakbar.

ini dan itu, dia dan saya...semalam dan hari ini..

Dilihat begitu bagi memudahkan penegertian yang menguatkan. Lantas terasa KekusaanNYA ke atas Segala-Gala nya.Tidak diumumkan kerana segala pergerakkan adalah di atas sifatnya yang tersendiri dan boleh behenti bila mana dan masa yang dikehendakkiNYA. Sana adalah sana. Tidak tersini dan tersana sesuatu mengikut kata diri ini melainkan dengan Kekuasaan Allah yang Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

my energy or yours?

In everything, it is either mine or yours. Can it be both? In a selling situation, the child's energy overpower the mother and the father. What about a  boss? The employee under hin could turn the management upside down. Then where is the rationale of all good things? Does it comes from below or from top? Surely it is the manager's energy more than the subordinates. Despite that, it is always a fighting game, my energy or yours? Kepada Allah kita berserah. Kepada Allah kita memohon taufik dan hidayah. Allahuakbar.

merasai kebenaran...

Pada mulanya ianya meragukan kerana taburan kekeliruan di sana sini. Merasai kebenaran adalah sesuatu yang di kira aneh buat seseorang. Tetapi ianya sangat diperlukan. Lantas ianya diusahakan selalu. Pada mulanya ianya mengkhuatirkan. Dengan perkembangan, apa yang dulu dirasai, lain pula yang dirasai sekarang. Apa yang terkini itu benar atau sekadar merupakan satu khayalan juga? Apakah jati diri sebelum ini hanya pura puraan? Apa ianya masih dibayangi oleh laluan fikir dan rasa yang sudah-sudah dan lampau-lampau? Yang ternampak dulunya,  sekarang masih lagi ternampak. Terfikir dulu juga terfikir sekarang? Keseronokkan dulu keseronokkan juga sekarang. Justeru itu, di manakah perubahannya? Kepada Allah saya berserah dan bermohon taufik dan hidayah. Allahuakabar.

secerok rasa, sepuntal hati...

Lama aku cuba memahami diri aku ini. Bukan apa..kehidupan keseluruhanya telah sampai ke tahap ini. Apakah ianya telah dijangka? Mana nak di sangka bahwa hidup ini sangat begini. Terasa tersesat dalam diri sendiri. Jika negeri aku ada highway atau lebuhraya yang menghubungkan, tidak terkecuali dengan apa yang terdapat dalam diri aku. Aku boleh kemana dengan sedikit keketaraan dalam hati. Semua berjalan lancar dengan sendiri. Orang Indonesia kata `tidak bisa' tetapi aku mengatakan semua nya boleh belaka. Walaupun sekatan itu ada, tetapi bagi aku sekatan itu tidaklah merupakan penghalang yang menghalang. Kebebasan ada had dan batasan. Hanya menghalang jika ianya boleh memudaratkan semua. Kepada Allah saya berserah memohon pertolongan, perlindungan, kekuatan, kekayaan, kekuasaan. Allahuakbar.

Maaf kawan...

Maaf kawan..you will be seeing less of me in the FB. Don't think I deserve the attention anymore. I have led a different path now. It is so much of inner road of my inner self that shall be the focus and path to follow. I have been picking up a new landscape of thoughts and thinking. A big thank you for all the likes and the dislikes. Kepada Allah saya berserah. Allahuakbar.

making sense of what my life is all about..

It also means trying to make sense of what has happened to me. The moment it happens it is so difficult to have a grasp what and why it takes place. But I have come this far. Yes, you might not like it. Or you might feel you are flying to another planet, it does not matter, just say it. And saying it all, and having it all linked together, you would slowly come to your sense - a consciousness of a kind. Allahuakbar.

maka diperjelaskan lagi...

Nampak kah saya kepada bintik hitam itu di permukaan muka kamu? Soalan itu nampak remeh kepada yang meremehkan. Tetapi soalan yang sama boleh meningkatkan mertabat seseorang dalam konteks kejadian dan ciptaan Allah. Kecil, walaupun bintik kecil, kepada empunya diri yang memiliki muka itu, ianya merupakan satu gangguan yang sangat besar. Justeru itu, bagi mata yang memandang dan memilikki hati pencipta yang amat tinggi, maka terciptalah penawar yang dapat menghapuskan bintik hitam yang kecil itu. Lantas termakna bahawa kebahagiaan itu merupakan dua hala. Ianya tidak bersifat sebelah. Tengok kaki, tengok tangan, terangkatnya kepada sesuatu tahap mertabat memerlukan dua belah tangan dan dua belah kaki yang bergerak dan dua hati yang berpadu kasih dalam usaha mengegerakkan kebaikan dan kebahagiaan itu. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

setiap detik yang memberi pelajaran dan pengajaran...

It is all in the lesson of discover and discovery. The lapses of time unfold stories of untold lessons of mankind being the person they are both nice, good , and bad. What about evil? It is all in the lesson of putting words in the right place or just delete it for the sake of justice and justification for life here and hereafter.  Allahuakbar.

sendiri...

Terpaksa mengungkapkan perkataan `sendiri'. Dirasai bahawa hidup ini, walaupun nampak megah dan gah, manusia cepat lupa akan penderitaan yang pernah dilaluinya. Jangan terperangkap dengan sikap angkuh manusia walaupun senyuman diberi dan tangan menghulur salam tetapi hati bersalut duri dan onar. Kepada Allah saya berserah memohon Kekayaan, Pertolongan dan Perlindungan. Sesungguhnya Pemilikan Yang Sebenar pada Segala-GalaNya hanya Milik Mu, Ya Allah. Allahuakbar.

perhubungan ghaib yang membesarkan Allah...

Setiap orang yang di cipta NYA dibiarkan mencari DIA sehingga kita merasai sesuatu berlaku yang sangat tersendiri dalam diri seseorang. Unsur kawalan dalam berbagai bentuk deria rasa, perasaaan, dan pengetahuan telah membuat diri ini terpegun sejenak menanyakan sesuatu yang belum pernah di tanya. Tetapi semuanya seakan akan  mencetuskan jawapan kepada pertanyaan terhadapnya sebelum ini. Allah telah menjadikan kerangka jentera fikir yang sangat unik menghubungkan segala fitrah fizikal mental dekat dan jauh dan semuanya boleh di bicara dan berbicara, singgah menyinggah tidak tentu bila tetapi dirasakan semua terbina dan sememangnya ada. Lantas terciptalah segala segala dalam bentuk tulisan ini dan Allah terus membiarkan kita mencari dan di cari dalam kesedaran yang sangat tersendiri tetapi berkongsi bagi mereka yang tercipta di zaman ini. ALLAHUAKBAR.

wisdom and dynamism in disasters..

Not that many behaves truly to the spirit of a disaster. In the wake of big flood that strike the three East Coast States of Peninsular Malaysia, only on the third day help begins to come in. The true spirit of a disaster has not well catch up with the Malaysian. This is because experiences of this nature have not well catch up with us like those countries that are well tuned to earthquakes, volcanoes eruption and floods bigger in magnitude than found in those three East Coast States of Pahang, Terengganu, and Kelantan. Semoga kita sentiasa dalam perlindungan NYA. Allahuakbar. 

in one's face..

Are found all the indulgences and the cruelties of one kind or another. Selfishness is the theme of opportunities and strength. But when life is taking a drastic turn for the worse, indulgences and cruelties were found to be only his and not others. Semoga kita sentiasa dalam perlindungan NYA. Allahuakbar.

dalam semua masa ada satu rasa..

Despite the many looks, despite all the hearings, all the seeings, all the writings and all the expressions, all the experiences in all those times and in all those years, there is only one feel at and in one time. Thus life makes easier and manageable. Allahuakbar.

Death has always been my curiousity....

Since small, death has a special place in thought and in me. It has been with me all the time. There is a picture of mine, way back year 1966, I wrote something at the back of the picture. What did I write? `This man dies young. Pity him'. Looking it over, thinking it over, my experiences brushing with death have been a curiousity more than anything. Just dare not to venture any further on this topic. But the thought stays. Allahuakbar.

monday morning...

I should start somewhere. Some says start with a simple activity. Then comes up with a simple thought. Keep on thinking. Thought would undergo a massive `earthquakes' of all sizes and shapes before it stabilizes. Be patient and keep on moving. Seek help and give help. InsyaAllah, after all those turbulence and turmoil, it ends with a simple and a satisfying smile. Allahuakbar.

in place...

Life is like a web of a spider. Despite the perceived entanglements in the beginning, with the passing of a day from another day to another day, all seems to be converging from and to a place. Allahuakbar.