The theory of relativity...

Feel it differently, see it differently, interpret it differently..one experience touches oneself differently, the pain, the anger, the joy, the pleasure, and the relativity attach to all that creates a factor called a degree and the bigness of the arc varies with individuals and thus lay the foundation of an earthly empire he possesses. And within that possessed power bestowed upon him he reached and reacted differently (conceptually and perceptually) to different situations and events but very much within the mandate constitution of his kingdom. Thus he is being described as a just ruler in accordance with the degree of relativity bestowed upon him. He has a big heart for something but despite that he dismisses behaviour that breaches the standard set by his constitution. With much respect and in accordance with what he sees fit, he is a giver, but at the same time and in different vein of interpretation, he takes.

In sickness you would get closer to yourself..

Why not? You have nobody around. You don't share. And you don't have a daily timetable. You are just your humble self hoping and praying you will be back to your normal self. When one is sick, life has become insignificant in many ways. In other words you don't dream anymore. Just accepting the routine of a sick person. There is a theory about getting sick. It is the theory of adaptation. Under a circumstances one would fall sick in accordance to the law of ups and downs. One has to fall sick. Demotivated. Well after a while he is well again he is back to business. Fully motivated. So life is never seen as a continuity. It would stop one day. Allah is Great.

In no mood...

I am still in no mood of doing anything. I still have that coughs that seem so hard to get away. I am relentless with this coughing situation. Presuming it would go away, I spend time and energy doing things at my kampong house which has just been renovated. Still failed to get rid of it. Still in no mood of doing something serious.

Visiting a doctor..

There are times when you have to see a doctor. Why? Because I am not feeling well. I have coughs and I have to seek doctor's help to determine what I am suffering from. Blood pressure being checked. Well it is normal. Then comes the check in the chest. A slight indication of extra pumping of the blood. That too is normal. Except for the cough, I have been billed as healthy. But the cough keeps me away from many things. Monday, Tuesday, and Tomorrow I am not going to work. The cough seems stubborn and does not go away easily. Luckily, the students are being given a week off. So don't have to miss any scheduled classes with them. I hope by tomorrow I am okay and back to my normal self.

The luxury of writing in blog..

Say what you want to say and only a handful of people would read what I have written. And that is a thought luxury indeed. Despite issues raised are characteristically critical, global and personal, still I am always on the safe side. It invites no criticism and no controversies. Well somebody might come along and has strong opinion on what you have written. Well everybody is entitled to their opinion. So are mine. It is my writing and my opinion. And I am entitled to what I think of something. It is my birth right, so to speak. A blog is an outlet for expression. I have to let go something that has long been there lest it would haunt me for life. That is the luxury of writing and expressing yourself in blog. Thanks to science and technology.

Kejutan enterpreneur...

Hidup ini adakala kena dikejutkan bagi menyampaikan maksud `anything can happen at anytime and at any place.' It can be good, bad, or evil. Tsunami yang telah mengorbankan ratusan ribu nyawa merupakan satu contoh dan sekali gus tersampai mesej `anything bad can happen at any time and at any place." Ramai terutamanya budak budak muda khususnya, tidak merasai kejutan yang berlaku kerana mereka tidak merasainya secara langsung. Sebagi seorang yang mendidik dan mengajar, dirasai ramai pelajar `take for granted' hari hari yang berlalu satu semester. Saya dapati kegagalan merupakn satu kejutan yang boleh membawa kepada perubahan sikap. Tetapi ada sikap pelajar yang sangat saya tidak suka. Hendak tahu apa? Pelajar yang terpisah dengan mainstream event dan pemikiran yang terkini. Mereka melalui rutin harian yang sangat rapat dengan perangai yang telah diserap dari kecil lagi. Mereka nampak baik dan bertegur sapa kerana kelakuan mereka sememangnya begitu. To the lecturers yang mengajar selalu nya tersalah anggap dan merumuskan pelajar ini lain dari yang lain dan harus diberi pujian. Tetapi sebenarnya pelajar begini sudah lali dengan cara mereka kerana telah teruji keberkesanan baiknya itu. Lantas setelah semester berakhir, pelajar yang dikatakan berinisiatif tadi rupa rupanya sekadar melakonkan lakonan yang selalu mereka mainkan di kampus sehinggalah satu kejutan besar berlaku. Kejutan itu saya namakan sebagai `kejutan enterpreneur.' Allah yang Maha Besar lagi Mengetahui. Ujian yang kita akan lalui mungkin merupakan ujian dari Allah dan menyebabkan kita sentiasa berwaspda terhadap apa yang akan berlaku. Ingatlah yang muda akan tua. Yang sihat akan sakit. Yang ada kawan mungkin akan hilang kawan. Yang kaya akan tersilap membuat keputusan dan akan membawa kepada kemiskinan. Deal with both means and ends efficiently and effectively. Tapi sudah lumrah ramai yang hanya deal with the means dan lupa akan end dalam erti kata yang long term dan sebenarnya. Lantas sekali sekala kejutan enterpreneur akan berlaku kerana itu sahaja yang dapat menginsafkan mereka. Selepas itu adakah mereka akan sedar? Allah Yang Maha Besar lagi Mengetahui akan segala rahsia kejadian.

Melewati sempadan...

kita takut pada bayang bayang. Ada je yang tak boleh buat dan ditegur atas sebab nasihat orang tua tua. Mengapa nak ikut? Itulah hidup dan kena jaga adat dan resam orang tempatan.. Ditelan mati bapak, di luah mati emak. Kalau di ikutkan hati mati. Kan bagus. Itu kan tanda berani. Tapi itulah lumrah kehidupan. Ditegah dan dilarang tak tentu sebab. Takut konon tak ada orang meminang bagi anak dara sunti yang suka menyanyi di dapur. Menyanyi kat TV tak apa. Haha. Buih hitam telah meliputi kehidupan manusia. Tak nampak apa. Pandang kanan nampak hitam. Pandang kiri nampak hitam. Tu lah tak dengar kata orang tua tua. Tak tahu ke orang tua dulu makan garam. Kalau cakap bukan main lagi. Bukit di daki, laut direnangi. Tak payah. Kalau nak ke genting highland naik kereta sampailah. Kalau nak ke Sarawak naik kapal terbang melintasi laut Cina Selatan. Kan cepat dan mudah. Nak berenang? Jadi tuan tuan dan puan, kalau nak maju kita kenalah meninggalkan kepercayaan kolot atau kata kata yang berbau hasutan yang menghalang kita melakukannya. Tepuk dada tanya selera. Hidup jangan sangat bersempadan. Redah je dan tengok apa jadi. Sudah tentu yang baik je akan berlaku. Tapi oleh kerana kita berfikiran burok and dan berpra sangka burok, maka tidak lah berani kita mencubanya. Jadi tak kemana kita. Jadi bermula pada hari ini bujor lalu melintang patah. Fate and destiny is in your hands. So are others.

Kalau ikutkan...

aku nak terbang kelangit meninggal bumi pergi ke planet lain. Selama ini keindahan yang ku rasa hanya palsu, pura-pura dan semantara. Senyuman di lemparkan di sana sini tapi lemparan tidak pernah mengena kepada sasaran. Tidak lagi ku rasakan degupan jantung apabila bola golf yang di pukul pergi ke tebing atau ke dinding. Kereta berlalu sudah hilang glamor kejenamaanya. Juga hal politik. Juga hal ekonomi. Dan banyak perkara bersabitan hal sosial. Dan baru baru ini ada insan terjatuh tertiarap menyembah bumi. Segalanya hanya merupakan dan dianggap sebagai satu episod dari buku penglipor lara. Peduli apa. Kalau ikutkan aku nak luahkan apa yang terpendam di sanubari. Barulah mereka terilham dan terdiam seribu bahasa. Tapi apakan daya. Rupa rupanya aku hanya bermimpi di siang hari - perlu mengikut teladan bumi resam yang abadi. Sampai bila ye?

Am I insured?

This semester I have been assigned to teach the subject of insurance. What a joke! I have been out of touch with the subject for almost a decade or more. Surprisingly, I am still okay with the lectures. Life is full of surprises. And I feel I am insured from any surprises that springs back from nowhere and with venom of vengeance. Despite that I am always ready for something like this and not at all perturbed by the twist of events. I feel I am back to days of yesterday. Good or bad? Surely it brings back memories of days when I am at the peak of my career motivation to achieve what I want in life. Do I get it? Yes and no. Anyway life is full of surprises. Despite that I am fully `insured.' Do you?

Meeting an old friend..

He greeted me first. In the context of Malaysian literature, he is a national figure. He belongs to the nation, so to speak. I have seen him everywhere either in newspapers, his writing, or just an invited guest on TV. I don't expect him to greet me first considering an encounter of a kind long time ago where he says something that sounds sarcastic. Surprisingly he looked up and greeted me first. Well, nobody is an enemy forever. Everybody should be forever friends when a right opportunity presents itself. Being polite I do elevate his ego by saying something about him being a well known literary figure in Malaysia. That acknowledgement makes him smile from cheek to cheek. Haha. Despite who you are, psychologically everybody is nobody until somebody comes along and gives some kind of a supportive remark. After few exchanges of mutual stories, I excuse myself. What a big sigh of relief! It seems the spirit of forgiveness pervades the encounter - meeting an old friend.

Sunday morning...

Don't really have the time to write these few days. So many things I have to manage and must be there personally in order to have it solved. Anyway writing is very much in my blood. I have to find time for it. I have to write something today. Looking over courses I have been assigned to teach, I have to reorganise my priority in terms of thought and perspective. What do I mean by that? Simply this, if I were to teach the subject of management and whatever, I must be ready with all sorts of examples from the smallest and personal to the biggest and non-personal. I must also be ready with examples that go beyond text books and beyond this worldly dimension into the next. Haha. Into the next? Next what? Well, till next time..

Learning potentials...

It was my first day in class facing once again the young, the potentials, and the hopefuls. The wide gap between me and them create potentials for more learning. And that is good. On the positive note I don't have to rush into crushing them. No short cut to learning. And so are teaching! It is all hard work on both sides. Would they be able to survive the onslaught of all the courses they have registered for the semester? I bet they do so long they can see the learning potentials and reasons for being here and classes they have to attend. Welcome back and good luck!

A nation in one's body..but not in everybody..

Some are just an ordinary citizen who seems not to know anything about what is going on in the country. At heart, mind, and soul, they are just themselves with immediate responsibilities to their family members. Of late I spent much time with these ordinary folk and at every opportunity I have teh tarik with them. We talk politics and we talk on various topics on economy. Bits and pieces of everything they know it but not in depth. They are an incomplete self and in some they are just `extremist' in their viewpoints. That is the reality. That is the trend. That is what they are. It is no book theory on what they are talking about. What is being said that is what they meant in decisions and actions. In another words they talk with their body and heart. Thinking of changing them? Change their body and they will change their heart. Body and heart are the two integral elements in their daily routine. What about their mind and their soul? You can help them.

Good thoughts and good behaviour...

A wishful thinking? Far and near, today and yesterday, friends and foe, students and lecturers, employer and employees, the government and the people, good thoughts are tossed around but what remains and hard to change are bad behaviours and bad personal thoughts and taste. Why can't we be good in thinking and at the same time good in behaviour? The answer is plain simple. Behaviour is the reality of one's life whereas good thinking is always part to what we often say as dreams and fantasy and it needs concerted group action in order to achieve that. Lecturers are full of fantasies and dreams when teaching a class . And so are students, they are with fantasies and dreams too when registering themselves for a new semester.

Good thoughts in everybody are effectively pervasive. It contributes to a positive and happy atmosphere to a place of work or a home for that matter. But it is not so easily felt in a place or in a person. It is just not there. Why? Bad behaviour and bad thoughts are like devils lurking in the dark and thus lead to prolong unhappiness for that particular group of people and individual. But despite all that, the evil force in anything and everything and in everybody would surrender itself to the earth eventually. Just wait for the right time and have patience. If you have that sense of goodness in you and has been persistent with good thoughts, decisions, and actions, you are not fighting a losing battle. Finally it dawns upon everything and everybody good thoughts and good behaviour and good life. Allah Yang Maha Besar dan Berkuasa ke atas Segala-galanya.

Winds of anger...winds of change..

Angered at no one. Plain lazy to do anything. Why? Is it because of the wind and where it has always been blowing? Think so. Could still remember when things seem to change just because everybody seems to get angry. So anger + action = change. To change is not ordinarily being accepted as norm to everybody. A country needs change. The world needs change. I need change. But how come it is so hard to come by? Progress and regress has been the issue to a lots of events and activities these days. We definitely want progress. But can we get it as easy as we wish for it? For that we have to wait. Wait for what? Wait for the winds of anger and follow by winds of actions. But are we sure they will be change?

tak ada topik...

Maaf ye takde topik khusus hari ini. Saya nak tulis je apa nak tulis. Semalam kami ada mesyuarat. Rupa rupanya saya masih lagi bersemangat dalam menyampaikan sesuatu. Dalam pada itu ada juga saya terasa saya ini dah melepasi garis yang mana orang lain tak akan faham saya lagi. Tak pe lah. Alat pengimbang saya terhadap masa, isu, dan orang lain masih lagi berfungsi dengan baik. Adakah itu hasil dari mengalami kehidupan dan pengalaman yang berbagai dan bersesuaian? I might look serious in one situation, but in another situation I just feel that I am just a child. Tak tahulah. Bila menulis pulak I just feel that I am just behaving like an ocean. So just play to the tune and wind of the day. Kalau tenang, tenanglah tulisan saya, seperti pagi ini, tak ada topik yang khusus..

98.9 peratus...

Baru dua hari yang lepas ada aku menulis pasal meminta izin dan meminta tolong. Dan semalam aku tereserempak dengan hal yang sama. Walaupun telah mengajar si-dia nie selama satu semester, tapi masih sms dan menanya apakah nama penuh aku kerana dia hendak jadikan aku refree kepada resume kerjanya. Tak apa lah. Tapi tanya punya tanya, rupanya dia tak tahu nama ayah aku, aku ini bin apa? Apa patut aku buat? Dengan baik hati membalas balik sms tersebut dengan mengatakan ini nama penuh aku? Well, there are things you must accomodate and there are things you just ignore it. Tak masuk akal. Just another nightmare happening during the darkest hour of the night. 98.9 peratus strikes again....