delusions...

Seems something is trying all out to zap your energy. Several attempts have been made to get you lose your patience thus making others powerful at the expense of your frustrations and anger. Let it not happen, for at this juncture of your life, you need help more than ever. And when comes the question of survival, you have only yourself to depend on. Others, conscious and unconscious, be it family members, friends, and foe, they too are trying to make you lose your way. In the process of all these, thwarting evils in all shapes, forms, and sizes, it would make you stronger by the day. Mohon Taufik dan Hidayah dalam menangani saat saat seperti ini. Allahuakbar.

the passing of days...

The passings of days with the third eye, third leg, third arm, and the third mind that occurs in the dreams of the nights. It is all part of the days work with a difference. Only in dreams the work would be finished. Another day is a continuation of today's work. But a night's dream can be entirely on a different planet, so to speak. All seems strange and a shocker. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Prediction...

Prediction..it is a discipline well looked into. But has it been enough? What could be the variables that would help to predict the outcome of something that could well be true for all and the centuries to come? For one, we have statistics. But statistics are not everything.When there are so much thought in losing, then the prediction could well inclined based on what is often said and thought of. We have to eliminate all the fear factors that could contribute to failures. Would it then guarantee success? How? Turn to Allah and Allah is all for goodness and success. Have you ever think of it? Allahuakbar.

nafsu tidak meronta, hati tidak bebekas dan berkeras..

Sudah hilangkah perasaan meminta? Tidak ada rasa derita. Diri ini telah dibebaskan dari hati yang suka bersembunyi. Hilangnya juga kata kata yang memujuk diri. Adakah hilang juga arah dan pedoman yang hendak di tuju? Dulu banyak selera dan rasa yang menghanyutkan hati dan perasaan ini. Kenapa ya? Mana perginya? Atau perjuangan baru datang menghinggap dan membawa diri ini ke satu arah bertemu Illahi. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allah sahaja Yang Maha Mengetahui. Allah sahaja Yang Maha Memberi. Allahuakbar.

being helped to the skin?

What I wrote yesterday did comes alive in real forms and shapes. Not so much of negatives and positives, but I am seeing myself through and leads me to defining the real me in me. Just don't believe it, all seems to be neatly written before it actually happens. Am I made to feel and see through time? Also through me and touches the heart of others despite putting a mental and physical blockade? It has been the way it was and has been the way it is. Would I see more? Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

welcoming Monday...

Rare moment, this Monday has been a day to be welcomed. Why? I am looking forward to what today is all about. Despite some events that might confuse me, I am still positive as to what is going to happen today. Well, don't get me wrong. I am not doing any prediction. Just a gut feeling in me that would lead to something good today. Hanya Allah sahaja yang Maha Mengetahui. Allahuakbar.

Freer...

Breathing a fresh air, i am out from Temerloh. Here I am at Bangi. Don't feel like writing. But again my thoughts are  full with urges of the pasts and the present and leads me to the jungles of Wisconsin and mountains of intrigues and puzzles. What about the mutation of the brain? Great minds have been speaking for ages creating simplicities for all. Semoga dipermudahkan segala rasa yang sentiasa bertanya dan jawapan yang diberkati menunggu di hadapan. Allahuakbar.

fiery..

The word fiery can stand for a lot of things. It stands for a focused mind with the right corridor of thought, feel, and sense. Sensing something right seems shaky in the beginning. But with exposure of what was found in yesterday and pushing to to what is now, the answers are somewhat clear. Thoughts tend to be good  and productive in its connotation. But what underlies the thoughts could be innate and could not easily wiped out. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

Allah's Touch...

And I am what I am. With Allah's touch I could be in touch with the realities of the time. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

perceptually right...?

Most of the time i have been experiencing `perceptually right' syndrome. In the beginning it might be only perceptual. But sickness and death in others, it can be deadly real. A grave has never been a perception. It is real. Even that does little to make the event being understood in a true light. That little or perception, so to speak has been a true trespasser to one's domain of thinking. Has it? How could we escape from it? Semoga Allah membawa kita ke jalan yang lurus. Allahuakbar.

being defensive...

As an individual human being we are not with everything to help us. At our disposal is the immediate thoughts and the immediate words that could just be said. But can the first thought and the first word be trusted? Generally, human being tend to be defensive in terms of so-called  perceptual attack. All attacks and assaults in the beginning are perceptual. We are not animals that can be offensive only with a physical attack and the sound of a physical movement. As such we use our thoughts and words wrongly. We use thoughts and words in defending ourself. It is okay if it truly a defense in spirit and physical. But most of the time, without any reasonable basis, the defense begin to take place. In other words we are being defensive for the wrong reasons. Semoga diberi Taufik dan Hidayah. Allahuakbar.

being set for me?

I have thoughts. Great wonder how it gets there. Small wonder I am just as ordinary as I feel about myself. Really? But why it is just there when I ask for something? Is it out of my wish? Upper thoughts and lower thoughts. But out of nowhere my wish has been granted. It comes as true on almost everything since small right through to my old age. I am trying to relate it with Allah the Great. Kind of an unseen hand that solve the problem for me. It is an undeniably fact. Imaginary? But why it happens most of the time. Allah is Great. Allahuakbar.

one layer...

It seems after thinking about it my responsibilities are layered in many forms. And I am not conscious of it till this very minute. An  action of others are strictly one layer. They did that with one thought. So are their everything, actions, decisions inclusive. And I am a layered person giving favors that benefit them. And the sad part I am being laughed at. From now on, I want to make them see me as one layer person who does not easily budged. Seek help from Allah, the Al-Mighty. Allahuakbar.

bersendirian dalam kreativiti...

Ada orang suka orang macam saya. Ada yang tidak faham kreativiti saya. Adakah mereka bersikap demikian kerana mereka tidak kreatif? Mereka tak nampak pun saya. Kalau nampak pun mereka nampak benda yang tidak menjadi obsesi saya. Aspek luaran sahaja. Orang kreatif selalunya `nampak' orang lain. Justeru itu saya sentiasa dalam keadaan bersendirian apabila cuba mempamerkan penulisan saya. Kata orang saya tidak mempunyai kawan. Kadang bagus juga tidak ada orang seperti saya. Ini akan mendekatkan diri saya dengan yang Esa, Allah Subhanawatataalla. Allahuakbar.

as the system widens...

 Despite the widening of the system in depth, breadth, and width, the accommodative process of knowledge would deal better with good, bad, and evil that come along. Accommodation can be conscious and unconscious. Many are trapped and caught in the spiraling of events that can automatically activate the danger and anger of an attack and an assault. Knowing it making you in a ready state of fighting back. Allah is Great. Allah is All Accommodating. Are you? Sesungguhnya Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Ke atas Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

a moment too late..?

Everybody looks for that moment, me inclusive. But that moment, is it too late or too soon? Or have I enough of those moments? Well, there are moments, a divinity one, so to speak, has come just at the right time. But there are moments I long for to be in the midst of it again, forever leaving it all for good. No regrets. And there are moments I cherished so much, and there are moments experiencing by others, wished I have a slightest feel of it, but it seems it would soon be forgotten considering what a moment I am in now. Kepada Allah saya mengucapkan penuh kesyukuran dan penuh keredhaan di atas apa jua `moment' yang dilalui dan akan dilalui. Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa lagi Menguasai Segala-GalaNYA. Allahuakbar.

Miracles...

Miraculously escaped from being a fool. But is it a miracle not to understand it earlier? Is there such a thing as miracle? Feel it is wrong to label some events as miracle. On the surface seeing from a majority point of view, it could be said as miracle. But looking at it from the Greatness of Allah, what has happened is a manifestation of the Greatness in Allah. Allahuakbar.

kesedihan...

Aku ingat aku ini susah hendak sedih. Entah mengapa hari ini, segala aktiviti yang dilakukan telah membawa kepada alunan kisah kisah lampau. Itu membuat aku sedih. Mungkin sedih kerana inilah kehidupan yang telah terbentang untuk aku. Tidak ada pilihan. Cuma satu laluan. Dan sekarang umur aku tidak mengizinkan lagi aku memilih. Apa yang terbentang, itulah kehidupan aku yang tidak tahu bila berakhirnya. Walaupun begitu dan begini, tetap mengucapkan kesyukuran kepada Allah yang Esa. Allahuakbar.

can life be a personal war..?

Waging a personal war can be tantamount to waging a war against everybody. But who would win? This scenario has been quite a familiar scenario in politics of Malaysia. A recent resignation of Ketua Menteri of Terengganu and quitting from UMNO membership after that is an example of anger that does not spell a group fighting spirit. It can be strictly personal. But that is Malaysia whose citizens has not been inculcated the right values and norms pertaining to group fight. And this behavior is quite rampant and has become a model to leaders from top to bottom. Wallahualam. Semoga kita menjadi ahli kepada ummah yang berjuang untuk kepentingan ramai dan segala-galanya adalah di sisi Allah. Allahuakbar.

You have made me more than a father..

I did that just because I feel that I am more than a father. I don't want you or anybody for that matter made me feel in a worse situation I can possibly be. And as a man, I have to confront all problems head on and it leaves nothing behind. Semoga Allah memberi Pertolongan dan Perlindungan. Allahuakbar.

tidak ada longgokkan, tidak ada timbunan..

Kesukaran, ketidaktentuan, dan ketidakpastian akan berlaku apabila bertalu-talu dilonggokkan segala harapan, cita-cita, janji yang tidak ditepati, kebencian, kesedaran, kemarahan, dendam kesumat, kemurungan, riak, takbur, lupa, tidak sedar, keghairahan, keseronokkan, kesedihan silam dan terkini, dan banyak lagi - kesemuanya menjadi cabaran tinggal cabaran tanpa cahaya yang menyinar. Sesungguhnya biarlah kemaafan itu adalah ikhlas dan membawa kepada kebahagiaan ummah keseluruhan. Mohon Taufik dan Hidayah. Mohon Pertolongan dan Perlindungan. Allahuakbar.

Some...

Something closed. Something opened. Something speedy. Something slow. Some just bumpy. Some are just leaving. But what about those that are coming? Allahuakbar.

be a balanced person in `what, why, who, what, how, and when'...

But in reality, the percentage varies with individuals. The `what' person constitutes a bigger in percentage in many things. And in terms of academic discipline, we called it economy - a discipline of more `what'. `Who' - human resource, `why' - psychology, `how' - science and technology, `when' - it encompasses all - Allahuakbar.



                        when
                       /
                why
             how
       who
what

I am back into my own world..Have I...?

I am back. No more near them. I am now in the midst of my own active new world. Don't really mind if I am being ignored. It is just a natural process of a birth of a new life. I am just being a man of my inner and central to what I am doing now. And I feel that I am in control. Am I? Hanya Allah Yang Maha Berkuasa Ke Atas Segala-GalaNYA. ALLAHUAKBAR.

defying the splitting process of logic..?

All the yesterdays. Have I been dreaming? Or have I been running? Have some of my actions defy the splitting process of logic? The word splitting, sounds familiar right? Scientists have been trying to split everything in order to come out with a correct answer. Splitting fear. Can we split fear? What about death? When comes to death, it splits naturally. Wallahualam. Allahuakbar.

kejituan unsur paksaan dan pengaruh dalam sekitaran..

Dengan jelas dapat dirasai kejituan unsur paksaan dan pengaruh yang wujud lantas menyedari sifat, ciri, dan kekuatan semangat yang ada pada sesuatu.Wallhualam. Allahuakbar.

tidak berganjak..

Saat di mana aku tidak merasai aku adalah untuk hari ini menuju hari esok dengan peristiwa tidak menjangka datangnya. Rasa terhenti. Yang pasti ada semacam perasaan marah yang menggangu hati kecil ini. Enough is enough. Are big thoughts stopping me? But I am born with just a thought and I am going forward despite how they don't want me to. Despite the elements in trying to stop me from already doing a good job, many are looking sideways when come to defining who am I really. They just don't care. Memohon Talian Allah dalam Menghadapi Perasaan seperti ini. Allahuakbar.

my way of life..

It has been a long way before I got a glimpse of myself as I moved along. Don't really understand how others can make good of what the world presents, and others trying to catch along but still cannot make it. In a loose way I might consider myself as not that bad. Have I? My life has been made distinct by what I get and by what I do not get. What has been laid, despite seems not perfect, in a tight way, I am as perfect as everybody else. Allah is Great. Creates All. Knows All. Allahuakbar.

terasa sudah terkeluar dari sangkar yang membelenggu..

Agak bebas saya sekarang. Tidak seperti dahulu merasai sakit dan pahit jika tidak mengikuti berita di surat-surat khabar. Apa jua yang diumumkan oleh pihak kerajaan merupakan satu perintah yang dirasakan kena dipatuhi dan dikuti. No wonder so many experiencing stress situation in pursuing a career position in life. Tidak lagi bagi saya. Menjalankan perniagaan sendiri dan `I am my own boss' dengan `stress' dan konflik yang sangat manis dan tersendiri.Tidak ada lagi surat pekeliling yang memeningkan. Tidak lagi perlu menghurmati individu yang saya rasa tidak layak memegang jawatan tersebut. Banyak perkara yang berlaku yang tidak lagi perlu dirisaukan. Sekarang sudah berada dalam keadaan dan situasi yang mana `konflik' nya berbeza. Tidak ada lagi tekanan yang dibuat buat. Kerisauan hanya yang dirasa jika tidak memenuhi Tuntutn Mu, Ya Allah. Mohon Pertolongan dan Perlindungan. Allahuakbar.

an horror movie..?

I have my pasts. But I feel that I am being haunted by something I don't understand. Some kind of an eerie feeling when finding myself moving backwards to where I have been. Am I truly me walking here and there? Have I been missing something? No I am not. But why so much similarities in so many things? Don't have that alien feeling. But they are very much alive and I feel I have been alienated. Are you? No I am not? I do not say that. But when comes to my feel, I am always here. Allahuakbar.

I have to forget that I cannot..

It is all in the word I can. I can be there and handle myself in an appropriate manner. But should I? But I have been in all sorts of situations before. The most hated. The most liked. Have a share of romantic moments with some ladies. But I respect them all. I have been a person who has nothing before. And I handle myself pretty well so much so I forgot I have nothing. Then I have something. Even in that situation I forgot myself that I have a lot of `things'. I do my bit. And sometimes I have been made a victim. And now I am going through another phase of my life. Not that glamorous. But I `handle myself well' seemingly oblivion of what has happened before and what goes on around me then and now. But for sure I feel that I am standing tall on all decisions and actions. And that matters most. Allahuakbar.